(still) black and white

[110]

2011-06-30T00:52:00.000+08:00

It's been SO long.

(And the whole job anxiety thing is driving me a little nuts.)

[109]

2010-08-30T23:27:00.000+08:00

D&D 2010 was an interesting experience, but then I have no basis for comparison, since I didn't attend previous years'. I realized today why people still have pageants and beauty contests in spite of the inanity of it all. Looking at pretty stuff (or people, in this case) really does make us feel happier.

I think the winners were kind of expected; they seemed like the hot favourites. The post-D&D felt a bit strange though. Hahah I think I'll just upload photos and let them speak for themselves.

[108]

2010-08-11T03:00:00.000+08:00

I kind of feel bad that this has turned into a ranting blog. Oh well, happier things shall be mentioned later on. Promise.

Everything feels a bit off in the PC of life right now - the hard disk is fine but the software has problems. Some are merely kinks, others feel like unwanted virus software that create irritating pop-ups when you least want them to. And some programming mistakes are so humongous sometimes I feel like deleting software and reinstalling.

Actually it's 0228h and I have no idea what I'm saying.

SOW 2010 was a blast - the committee was much much loves, and seeing them around in school never fails to make me smile. Hahah I know seniors and freshies contributed much to the camp too, but the committee was what made the camp memorable for me. (I won't go into details of the admin issues - the reason why I have lesser love for the seniors/freshies.)

School's exciting too, after the long holiday. Not too excited about having 4 labs, but I think I'll survive. Floating around in school alone will take some getting used to, since I've had company 24/7 during SOW.

People change when you lose touch with them. Some change but are still able to carry on from where the friendship left off; others change so much they seem like different people altogether. But I'm not in a position to judge these changes.

Some people assume that others must care about the things/people that matter to them. Is it so wrong that I don't care? Clique or not, your friend might just be my acquaintance, and when I look at the big picture, they don't even register on my radar. (Vice versa, kiddo.)

This is the semester when interpersonal relationships take a backseat. I don't know and I don't care anymore, so get off my back and stop criticising my choices!

Whoa there're quite a lot of people I'm hoping to avoid.

Sorry about the babbling. Need a real-smile-inducer sometime soon.

Oh right. I was supposed to talk about happy things.

Hahah of course there's a ton of things to be thankful for. List time, off the top of my head.
1. Friends who were concerned because I've been missing choir events.
2. CSC HANDOVER omg I'm so glad.
3. Nice affinity group for EL3204.
4. Memories and love and big dreams (though all talk, no action) with SOW '10 committee.
5. Good friends back from NOC/work/holidays/rotting around somewhere.
6. Having hot showers, warm food, and a nice bed. (This is the best thing after a long camp.)
7. NEW NOTEBOOKS for school.
8. Promise of Macs breakfast plus bitching session with Sav, and possibly having nice lunch company.
9. I'm fulfilling last year's resolution - cutting back of CCAs.
10. Support system, regardless of who/what/when/where/how.

Some items are intentionally vaguely phrased.

[107]

2010-06-27T01:54:00.002+08:00

I guess it was a bad week.

"always look on the brightttt sideeee of lifeeeeee"
Ooookay. Thank, T.

Next week WILL be better.

[106]

2010-06-25T21:31:00.001+08:00

I FREAKING WANT TO BAIL OUT.

Except that this minor thing called sense of responsibility insists I hang in there and see it through.

[105]

2010-06-22T00:21:00.000+08:00

I'm wondering whether eating fudge is like drinking alcohol, because it induces guilt and makes one feel better at the same time. End result = Numb but satisfied.

I'd better sleep before I feel too much remorse. Hahah.

[104]

2010-05-25T21:56:00.001+08:00

I suppose it's high time I typed something of substance, before my brain rots into nothingness during the term break. Oh, and also before this blog starts growing virtual mould.

Tuition assignments are flooding in - a result of students getting back exam grades, hurhur. It's quite amusing, since I've been having difficulty finding tuition for the past few weeks. At least now I have income. Yay.

The temptation to jam-pack my calendar with stuff (like say, tuition) is very very very high. Part of it is due to boredom. The other part... I don't know, some spite, maybe? I don't like that everyone's life is more happening than mine, hahah. And I don't want to beg people for company, which really sucks. So fill the schedule up, and ta-dah, problem solved.

Except if the schedule is filled up with stuff that requires long-term committment... no burning out in Year 3, I hope.

All these CCA events are tiring me out a wee bit. Right now the choir music is giving me some trouble (maybe because I've missed quite a few rehearsals due to school, dang), and I'm not seeing the full picture for the other CCAs. Kind of just stumbling through everything until I can hand over or until the event ends.

This is bad, isn't it. Oh well, one thing at a time.

Nowadays I'm so bored that I'm doing uncharacteristic stuff. (E.g. missing my busy days, planning outings. GOSH, planning outings?!) Perhaps when I'm sufficiently busy, I'll get back to normal.

[103]

2010-05-05T20:44:00.005+08:00

Isn't this the prettiest thing you ever saw?
(Funny, that sounds like I'm describing a baby or something.)

Here's the side view.

And the entire pretty plate.

And unfortunately, I cannot stop ogling at it. The Fruit Tart Shop at Orchard Central has great eyecandies (food-wise, hahah).

Today, I...
1. Reaffirmed that I'm not cut out for cooking.
2. Slept. A lot. (Y'know how animals rest in the shade in the afternoon 'cause it's soooo hot, and are only active at dawn/dusk? Same concept.)
3. RAN.
4. Didn't run for very long.
5. Decided I should run more so that I can eat the eyecandies. Hahah.

And the heat is killing me. I shall hunt for air-conditioned hangouts.

Exams over = shiok.

[102]

2010-04-18T00:55:00.000+08:00

Every so often, life REALLY unravels into a mess. It wasn't this way before I entered university.

Guess life's simpler when you have fewer responsibilities.

But.

I won't give up just yet. And I shall think of ways to solve all these problems after my exams.

[101]

2010-03-22T23:13:00.003+08:00

Dictionary.com has 14 definitions for the noun "love".

Wikipedia talks about impersonal love, interpersonal love, various scientific models, and love in various cultures and religions.

Dorothy Parker says "love is like quicksilver in the hand. Leave the fingers open and it stays. Clutch it, and it darts away".

Oliver Wendell Holmes says "love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness".

Mark Twain says "love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired".

Erich Fromm says "love is the only sane and satisfactory answer to the problem of human existence".

And from various unknown people:
"Love is a friendship set on fire."
"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever."

From 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy. Love is never boastful, nor conceited, nor rude; it is not self-seeking, not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongdoing. It does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, and preserves. There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, hope, and endurance. In a word, there are three things that last forever: faith, hope, and love; but the greatest of them all is love."

I say love is too abstract for me.

[100]

2010-02-08T23:13:00.003+08:00

The 100th post is supposed to be a landmark, but it's been 100 posts of nonsense so it's not much of a landmark. Perhaps the next 100 posts will have more substance. Hahah.

I really can't be bothered to do much about my twenty-first. Hopefully I won't live to regret it.

YAY prata party/bet payoff is on Friday. It'll make the Friday-evening-lecture-before-recess-week a bit more bearable hahahah.

[99]

2010-02-05T15:30:00.002+08:00

The new students' lounge at YIH is actually pretty nice. Many red/blue/yellow chairs, which makes it look more like someplace in an ACSian school than in NUS hahah.

It's been a crazy week of assignments, meetings, field trips, etc. If only there's some time to take a breather.

[98]

2010-02-03T21:09:00.003+08:00

I think I'd better not mess with my health anymore. Time to start eating proper meals.

Also, my boss called me "pretty woman" and treated me to lunch, so I guess I'd better prepare for having more work to do. Hahahah.

[97]

2010-01-31T14:14:00.004+08:00

I went to sleep at 0130h, and jerked awake at 0200h from a nightmare. How ridiculous is that, considering that it hasn't happened for the past... 13 years?

The posts here have been getting fewer and farther between, but there's too much to say, too little time, and too many other things to do.

Excuses, excuses. Hahahah. Or maybe the real reason is that there're too many classified secrets that I don't have the liberty of sharing.

One thing that stood out this week was overhearing negative comments from one CCA about another. I'm involved in both clubs, and I have friends on both sides...

... And now I'm thinking about what I can/cannot say about this issue. Hahah see! Classified secrets.

Oh well, if you want updates, you'll just have to get them from me personally.

Pearl: if/when you see this (think you'll be back in Singapore already), Singapore food/CNY reunion/combined Jan+Feb party! (I was going to propose a date but I realized we all need to compare timetables first.)

[96]

2010-01-23T09:32:00.001+08:00

Week 2 of school is over.

Enough stupidity please.

(I think I did more dumb stuff in the past two weeks than in my entire twenty years combined. OMG.)

[95]

2010-01-19T02:05:00.001+08:00

If life was a dish, right now I feel like I'm staring at a huge plate of food I have to force down my throat.

[94]

2010-01-03T00:43:00.002+08:00

Yay it's the first post of 2010.

I think I'm going a little nuts. But then it's probably a good idea to make use of this time to do things I wouldn't usually do; at least I can attribute it to the lapse in sanity. Hahahah.

Happy new year!

[93]

2009-12-29T17:49:00.003+08:00

2009 in retrospective on (still)blackandwhite...

We had an alto dinner on 2 January, and funnily enough, it's almost exactly the same as the most recent one on 28 December. Hahah Yan is still annoyed that there is never a point in time when all eight of us are present and can take a decent alto photo. (I think we gave up on the photos 'cause it's always missing one person. Next year's AEWF perhaps?)

February and March seemed like an awful lot of stress. (All those ahem, CCAs.) Feb/Mar 2010 is probably going to be pretty much the same, maybe worse 'cause of the heavier workload in year 2. No wonder Sav scolded me for joining SOW hurhur.

Or maybe it won't be as bad. I'm doing what I like, I have sufficient authority to um, arrow away what I don't like to do, and I have enough power to suggest/implement ideas for improvement.

But sometimes it feels like I'm doing a lot of stuff by myself 'cause it's just too much trouble to get someone else to do it. It's really quite stupid to email someone else to ask him/her to email various other people, plus it takes a long time. Mostly I don't mind liaising and passing on messages, except when people are bloody rude and show zero courtesy.

Better to be less principled and bother less than to insist on doing things right as much as possible. (New year resolution: be less of a perfectionist? Hurhur.)

In April I got to meet up with a friend I haven't seen/spoken to in about 3 years. Guess it's a sign of growing up that we "buried the hatchet", so to speak. To be honest, it was quite complicated for a while, but seeing that we can actually be cordial to each other and say "hey let's catch up soon"... I think that's quite amazing.

To a certain extent I still can't tell whether we're being genuine or not, bu oh well, I'll take what I can get.

And the ways I used to entertain myself while studying is simply amusing. Hahah.

Life felt off in June 2009; still feels a bit off now. Contentment only surfaces when I'm doing something that doesn't require thinking (i.e. mindless stuff). Ah okay, this one requires more thinking to make sense.

In July I wanted to rewatch Supernatural. Hahah I didn't get around to doing it, but I did get Pearl hooked on it. Here's proof. Yay FINALLY I have company!

And then August to December was one long string of school, projects, exams, CCAs, rehearsals, performances, generally being busy, and ranting to friends.

If your name has appeared on my blog, or you've been referred to (i.e. not named) in my blog, no matter whether you made me :), :D, :(, or !)#!^@*#, thank you for enriching my life so.

I wouldn't say it was a bad year, but I'm sure next year will be better.

Merry Christmas and Happy 2010!

[92]

2009-12-23T10:54:00.002+08:00

The year is ending soon. OMG.

What happened to all my plans for the holidays?!

[91]

2009-11-27T23:11:00.002+08:00

3 more days, 2 more papers.

Time to start filling in my social calendar!

[90]

2009-11-07T13:17:00.002+08:00

My thoughts are disjointed and I can't be bothered to link them, so I shall just leave everything in point form. (Honestly, I'm supposed to be thinking about glycolysis, not blogging.)

1. People form impressions based on their (sometimes limited) interactions with you.

2. People expect you to behave a certain way, based on their impressions of you.

3. These expectations (often) aren't true representations of your personality. Or at least, they aren't complete representations of your personality.

So when you keep behaving the way people expect you to behave, doesn't your sense of self get eroded?

This and this give a rather good idea of what an identity crisis is. (Apparently it's quite normal for adolescents to be confused about their identity, so don't worry, Savvy. Hurhur.)

It suddenly occurred to me that I don't know exactly who I am, or why I'm doing the things I do. Perhaps it's due to an overdose of interaction with people; now I just want some alone time. The past few weeks have been one long stretch of worrying about people and trying to cheer people up and hoping that my actions don't affect others negatively.

There's no such thing as "supposed to be (a certain way)", okay? Everyone has many facets to their personality, and if you can't integrate them all, the least you could do is not to force him/her into your preconceived mould.

And, if you're reading this, don't take it personally.

[89]

2009-10-26T15:29:00.005+08:00

You Are a Carnival Mask

You are flirtatious, charming, and seductive. You are both mysterious and alluring.

You know how to dance the steps, no matter what the dance is. You always know what the next move should be.

You are good at drawing people in but not letting them get too close. You know how to be wanted.

You prefer to be understated than over the top. You never want to be seen as trying too hard.

What Halloween Mask Are You?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

All those adjectives above? They fall under the categories of "subtle" and "manipulative". Hurhurhur.

You Should Dress Up As a Cat

You are a shy, reserved person who takes a long time to warm up to others. You are close to those you've known the longest.

You are crafty and smart. You may seem like you're lost in your own little world, but you're really paying attention to everything going on around you.

You are not easily influenced by the other people in your life. If anything, you counterbalance their emotions well.

You are intuitive and have a lot of wisdom to impart. Most people don't pay close enough attention to the lessons you teach them.

What Animal Should You Dress Up As?

The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

Now this one is pretty true. "Crafty and smart" equals manipulative!

And yeah, most people don't pay attention when I tell them stuff, e.g. "Prepare less food 'cause people won't eat that much". And then we wind up with excess food.

(But Mr. S@vvy will say that I don't pay close attention to the lessons he teaches too. But that only goes to show that I'm "not easily influenced by the other people in (my) life". Heh.)

You Are Blue

You believe the key to living a good life is simple. Be as honest with yourself and others as possible.

You value the truth over everything else. You will remain loyal to those who are honest with you, even if their honesty hurts.

Compared to most people, you handle the truth well. You take every event in stride. You are the calm spot in a sea of chaos.

You think the solution to most problems is open communication. You wish that people would be more real with each other.

What Color of the Rainbow Are You?

Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

Ego-booster.

You Are a Boxer

You are playful and energetic. You bring joy to everyone who crosses your path.

You are hyper to the point of being a comedian. Everyone is wondering what you will do next.

You energy can get the better of you if you're not careful. You can have a destructive streak when you're bored.

You're very strong willed and powerful. You get you way without even trying to.

What Breed of Dog Are You?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

Only the part about being strong-willed and powerful is true. Hahahahah. The art of intimidation.

[88]

2009-10-25T02:06:00.003+08:00

Everyone else may try to talk you out of being emo, but true friends emo with you and go to the ends of the world for you.

Here's proof:

#1
jinghui:; shouldstopemoingandjustgetonwithwork. says:
hahahah okay.
do now!
jiayou!

M.r. S@vvy dun like jeanny says:
u too u too
emo tell me lei
i emo with u
hahah

#2
jinghui:; feels like flinging herself down a long, long flight of stairs. says:
:)

_`pearl ????Ber&??♥ [ZIAL&WENMEL] says:
don't fling yet lah D:
wait for me. we fling together

So I say, excluding family, friends are the best things that exists in the world.
And true friends are those who share crappy bits of their lives with you BECAUSE they love you.

[87]

2009-10-24T19:51:00.003+08:00

This is turning into a ranting blog, which ain't a good thing.

I suppose I should save the happy stuff for the end so that this will end on a good note. Hahah.

The ES2007S project is tedious. Though I must admit that I've had fun working with Stanley. He always helps me get extra butter and maple syrup when we have breakfast at Macs hahahah. Damn fattening.

And I'm very amused by the whole nickname thing. Think that's why Jingle Bells is stuck in my head now.

The CSC birthday party was quite fun, considering I had a really long day and was tempted to skip it. I sometimes feel out of place (also partly why I thought of not going), but everytime I take part in CSC stuff, I find that the people there are very open. A good thing, I suppose.

(This whole entry sounds disjointed 'cause I feel like talking. So I'm rambling on about random stuff which people probably don't want to hear. Which is why I'm sort of talking to myself here hahahahah.)

Singing a part alone is honestly quite stressful, especially when most of the other parts has more than one person singing it. Now I know how the tenors feel hahah. (But I like the stress 'cause it makes me work harder. Challenges are always good for one's growth. Heh. That said, I was still very glad when Drea came back.)

Everyone's been sounding weird lately. It disturbs me to hear my friends not talking like themselves (especially when they're extra nice). Where did all the sarcasm go? Could be due to stress, I suppose. Maybe if people slept more, they'd be back to normal.

Fadz, Wes, Larry, JC, and I went to the Night Safari! It was fun, and the weather was good. And it was quite amusing to hear ourselves discussing life-sciencey stuff while looking at the animals.

Our W_T project seems rather successful. The guys are more enthusiastic about it than Fadz and I are hurhurhur.

Pearl! Let's S/N together someday! I'm glad you finally started watching hahahah. It's nice right!

Over the past few weeks, I found out quite a lot of new stuff about people, or what people think.

How much should one compromise to please others? Things always get complicated when more than one person is involved, and well, you can't really make everyone accept you, or your way of doing things, right?

So if one feels that he/she is right, but others disagree, then what? Different people have different sets of principles; what one thinks is important might be just a trivial issue to another. Find a middle ground, perhaps?

(But I don't feel like budging from my position, 'cause damn, I think I'm right. Hahahah.)

I don't know what I'm talking about. If you're reading this, make what you like of it. Better still, pretend you never read it.

Alright I'm just in a weird mood now. (Omg my brother just taught me how to fold a heart using straws. Disbelief! Hurhur.)

I have to say this though.

A lot of stuff happened this year, and regardless of whether they were good or bad, there's a group of awesome people who've been there through it all. Thank god for them; I don't think I'd have survived otherwise.

Told you I was in a weird mood.

[86]

2009-10-20T16:34:00.002+08:00

1. Strange things are going on around me. And by "strange things", I mean both people's actions and reactions.
2. I am screwing up my studies.
3. I am way behind on my admin work.
4. Yahoogroups refuse to load.

What is my life coming to?

Fine, I'm being unreasonable again. So sue me. Gee.

[85]

2009-10-15T21:43:00.002+08:00

I think it's the first time I want something badly enough to actually feel afraid of losing it.

Whatever happened to fearlessness?

[84]

2009-10-12T18:54:00.002+08:00

What an emo day. Hahahah. I think I need to find new friends!
Alternatively, I can try to fall so deeply in love with Nolan/Mobi/Inbi/Mars that I don't need friends. Hurhur.

Okay. I think I just need to get a grip and deal with it. And stop being irrational and unreasonable.

[83]

2009-10-09T08:15:00.002+08:00

E-learning week was fun. Except for the very traumatic tests, webcasts with white noise louder than the lecturer's voice, and many many meetings (projects, CCAs, or otherwise).

BUT.
I had so many nice meals with nice people. Hahahah. So that made me extremely happy indeed.

On Monday, I had lunch with Mark and Yihui after the English tutorial. A little bit weird, 'cause they used to be my seniors and now I'm (technically) their "senior", but it was fun 'cause I got to catch up with Yihui whom I haven't seen in ages. And we got to talk about choir and AC stuff, so yeah, that was fun.

Lunch with Fadz on Tuesday made having two term tests (including a horrifying Molecular Biology one) on that day bearable. Despite not having studied properly for it and basically flunking it... alright that's beside the point. Befriending that day also went smoothly, thanks to people I shouldn't name here in case other people read it. Yay.

I spent some time with Mom on Wednesday; had fun showing her around Science hahahah. (She thought the Medicine blocks looked kinda old compared to the Science blocks. I wonder how she tells the difference 'cause they all look the same to me.)

Breakfasted with Stanley on Thursday during the ES2007S online consultation. So when our tutor asked us to entertain ourselves, we did this over MSN though we were sitting opposite each other:

Stanley: Hey where are you now Jinghui?
Me: I'm at engin Macs. Where're you?
Stanley: Oh I'm at engin Macs too.
Me: I don't see you!
Tutor: Sorry, I'm at home. :P
Stanley: Oh really. Well, C--------, you're welcome to come to engin Macs too and pretend we don't see each other so that we can have a proper MSN consultation. I'll buy you a cup of tea.

And we were laughing as we typed that exchange. Very lame self-entertainment huh.

Macs breakfast was nice though! I don't think we exactly bitched much, but it felt good to sit down and have breakfast with a good friend.

Then Pearl, Germ, and I met up for dinner at Pizza Hut. I thought that was quite a good catch-up session, except for one scary part when we ended up talking about citation methods. Hurhur.

The most amazing thing about the whole day was that I pulled an all-nighter the night before and I was kinda awake till slightly after 0200h. Granted, I napped here and there (like on the bus), but still. Hahahahah.

So I guess they should rename e-learning week "Recess Week part 2". It was actually less stressful than recess week 'cause most of the midterms were over. Goodness.

[82]

2009-10-04T19:20:00.000+08:00

You Are a Losing Lottery Ticket!

Full of hope and promise.

But in the end, a cheap letdown.

What Crappy Christmas Gift Are You?

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

[81]

2009-10-04T09:54:00.003+08:00

I know there're quite a few phantom readers who read this blog but don't give comments.
And I can't decide whether it's a good thing that people actually read this, 'cause then I might have to censor even more of my words.

Anyway, the long and short of it is, I really think I have a penchant for screwing up my own life.
It's like I'm on an out-of-control train (and yes, I'm driving it) careening on the tracks to I-don't-know-where.

I swear sometimes I make decisions just for kicks. Oh my. What exactly am I doing with my life?!

Enough angsting.

I'm still a bit in disbelief how much more I like linguistics compared to my core modules. Willingly mugging for my EL test and not feeling like it's a chore tells a lot huh.

Now I can't ask questions starting with "did you" without thinking about palatalization. Oh, how deeply Nolan has affected me. Hurhurhur.

[80]

2009-10-04T00:49:00.002+08:00

I think the flu bug is making me do things I'd normally think twice about. It's like, not feeling well equates to feeling tired equates to not thinking much equates to actually having the guts to do certain things. Hmmm.

I'm not sure this is a good thing.

[79]

2009-09-30T14:20:00.002+08:00

"Those who don't learn from history are condemned to repeat it."

Thanks ah, Stanley.

Why get others to screw up your life when you can do it perfectly fine by yourself?

Hurhurhur.

[78]

2009-09-24T08:16:00.003+08:00

You Give Me Something by James Morrison

You only stay with me in the morning,
You only hold me when I sleep.
I was meant to tread the water
But now I've gotten in too deep.
For every piece of me that wants you,
Another piece backs away.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared alright.
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try.
Please give me something,
'Cause someday I might know my heart.

You only waited up for hours
Just to spend a little time alone with me.
And I can say I've never bought you flowers;
I can't work out what they mean.
I never thought that I'd love someone;
That was someone else's dream.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared alright.
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try.
Please give me something,
'Cause someday I might call you from my heart.

But it might be a second too late,
And the words that I could never say
Are gonna come out anyway.

'Cause you give me something
That makes me scared alright.
This could be nothing
But I'm willing to give it a try.
Please give me something,
'Cause someday I might know my heart.

I heard this on Class 95 fm one night when I was trying to do work. Rather nice lyrics, don't you think.

[77]

2009-09-22T08:30:00.003+08:00

For the first time in my life, I think guys are complicated creatures. Or at least, they're not as simple as they seem.

Okay, "my life" lasts only twenty years so far, but still.

[76]

2009-09-20T09:31:00.001+08:00

Hook, line, and sinker.

Die.

[75]

2009-09-18T02:35:00.002+08:00

Well. It's been a long time since I did this kind of thing. So I figured I might as well.

You Are Apple Red

You're never one to take life too seriously, and because of it, you're a ton of fun.

And although you have a great sense of humor, you are never superficial.

Deep and caring, you do like to get to the core of people - to understand them well.

However, any probing you do is light hearted and fun, sometimes causing people to misjudge you.

What Color Red Are You?

Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

You Are Iris

You are the perfect blend of entertainment and wisdom.

You make people think about themselves and their place in the world.

Although you make people think, at least they'll have fun doing it. You're like a laughter therapist.

You are a very enriching and entertaining friend.

What Color Purple Are You?

Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

You Are Emerald Green

Deep and mysterious, it often seems like no one truly gets you.

Inside, you are very emotional and moody - though you don't let it show.

People usually have a strong reaction to you... profound love or deep hate.

But you can even get those who hate you to come around. There's something naturally harmonious about you.

What Color Green Are You?

Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

You Are Ocean Blue

You're both warm and practical. You're very driven, but you're also very well rounded.

You tend to see both sides to every issue, and people consider you a natural diplomat.

What Color Blue Are You?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

You Are Cameo

You are understanding and very empathetic. It's easy for you to see where people are coming from.

You find so much joy from other people. You're a social butterfly, and you wouldn't live any other way.

You don't tend to have acquaintances. Everyone is your friend.

And all of your friends tend to be friends. You have a knack for bringing very different people together.

What Color Orange Are You?

Blogthings: 100's of Fun, Free Quizzes and 3 Stupid Ones

You Are Blue

You are a philosophical and often inspired person. You are the master of ideas.

You are open to many points of view. You believe that it's important to communicate and not judge.

You have a worldly perspective, and you're always looking to broaden it.

You are a true people person, but you also value your solitude and personal space.

What Primary Color Are You?

Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

You Like Names That Are Cutting Edge and Exotic

You love creative names and names from foreign cultures.

You believe names should be expressive and interesting.

You like names that are unusual, striking, and powerful.

You couldn't imagine naming your child or pet anything "normal."

Some female names you might like: Amaya, Celestine, Danessa, Fawn, Kenya, Monet, Serenity, and Tia

Some male names you might like: Drake, Flint, Harley, Kendrick, Pascal, Romeo, and Timber

What Kind of Names Do You Like?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

You Are Chirping Birds

You are a very caring person. You especially feel for innocent beings, like animals and children.

You are keyed in to the world and very peaceful. You believe that everyone is connected.

You remain focused and in the moment. You are not easily distracted.

You have a good memory, especially for things that you hear. You listen carefully.

What Part of Spring Are You?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

[74]

2009-09-16T19:19:00.004+08:00

I realize that what the doctor said about using people and valuing things instead of valuing people and using things is true.

It's a pity that people do that, but I don't have to stoop to their level.

I just need to:
1. Stop letting it get to me.
2. Stop being so trusting.
3. Stop being stupid and learn my lesson(s).

[73]

2009-09-16T01:20:00.003+08:00

I'm sick of being nice.

Being nice = people use you and chuck you aside and then pretend that nothing ever happened.

Being nice = they still pretend to be your friend, where friend is defined as someone you look for when you need him/her to do something for you.

Being nice = you still have to pretend to be their friend, where friend is defined as someone who takes all their shit when they need people to do so.

Being nice = smiling and saying hi even though all you want to do is to run far far away, 'cause seeing the "friend" makes you feel nauseous.

Being nice = taking the blame even when it's not your fault. Or allowing others to verbally abuse you through mere insinuation, and not doing anything about it (e.g. hurling vulgarities at them).

I WILL STOP INVESTING SO MUCH IN MY FRIENDSHIPS/WORK/WHATEVER. Bloody hell.

Being nice once leads to appreciation. Twice, people take it for granted. Thrice, and people start to expect it.

Alright I'm just in one of those moods. I shall go and sleep it off and hide at home for a day.

[72]

2009-09-14T16:13:00.002+08:00

There're more and more and more projects/activities/exams/tests, but I realize that I haven't felt this happy in ages. Somehow there's this sense of purpose, like I know I'm going to sort out all the mess and come out fine. Which is a good thing, I suppose. Sometimes we have to lose in order to gain.

I think the loss was worthwhile.

Now that recess week is coming, I wanna make plans! Yay!

[71]

2009-09-11T20:31:00.002+08:00

This entry is going to be made up of unrelated sentences.

I cannot believe I feel guilty about doing nothing when I don't have an obligation to do anything in the first place.

Jiacheng said that we all already know the answer; in asking for a second opinion, we're just seeking reaffirmation. Which I thought was hmm, quite true.

It'd be nice if people remembered, not just in times of need.

In taking up activity after activity, I don't know if I'm doing it out of passion, or simply looking for a place where I feel like I belong.

[70]

2009-09-09T17:26:00.002+08:00

All these people who only come to me when they need me for one thing or another...

I'm very tempted to do a major spring cleaning.

Except that I don't have the heart to turn people away. Hmmm.

(I hate it that every fortnight my life unravels into a mess and I have to try to straighten stuff out again.)

[69]

2009-09-03T16:21:00.005+08:00

My tan from all the orientation camps and various trips to Sentosa is fading.
I'm getting used to sleeping about 4 hours every night, on top of power naps wherever and whenever.
My handwriting is getting messier, mostly because I've been doing the writing in the wee hours.
And it's only week 4.

That said, I wouldn't trade my life for anything else, even if it can get rather insane.
I think I'm a sucker for punishment.

Even Fadz agrees that year 2 seems to be extra happening.
My hypothesis is that hair length is directly proportional to amount of fun a person has, but maybe that's just me. Hahah.

Before the semester started, I thought I'd be okay with doing stuff alone. It's not that this whole 'alone' thing bothers me a lot; I just find that increasingly, I hate being by myself. It gives me too much time to think. (Worst of all, I can't stand mugging alone in school. Now I need to find a new hangout.)

Having some time to think and reflect is good. Having too many pockets of time to let my thoughts run wild isn't.

The incessant pondering does make my mind a lot clearer. I like that it kind of helps me to sort out my life a bit, except that the clarity can get scary sometimes. Imagine if every action you make and every word you say is calculated, deliberate.

(Dang. Life is supposed to be spontaneous and fun.)

Okay, this brings me to my next point. 'Cause I have so much time for my thoughts/plans/whatevers, there'll inevitably be expectations. I know things don't always go the way we want them to, but that doesn't stop us from hoping that they do, right?

So when expectations fall short, disappointment comes to play. And play with everything, they do.

I hate setting myself up for disappointment time and again, but like I said earlier, I'm a sucker for punishment. Vicious cycle huh. Strange that I never really learn from my mistakes. That, or I have too much faith in people. (Whatever happened to my natural wariness?)

First on this week's to-do list: Realize (and remember) that there'll always be an incongruency between expectations and reality.

The following is kind of random. It's just... aiyah. I'm entertaining myself okay. So just bear with me. Hurhur.

Demure [di-myoor] adj 1. A word meaning quiet, serious, and always behaving well, used especially about women in former times. 2. Characterized by shyness and modesty; reserved. 3. Affectedly or coyly decorous, sober, or sedate.

*Affected [uh-fek-tid] adj 1. Not sincere or natural. 2. Assumed or simulated to impress others. 3. Speaking or behaving in an artificial way to make an impression.

*Coy [koi] adj 1. Pretending to be shy in order to attract interest, or to avoid dealing with something difficult. 2. Unwilling to give information about something. 3. Artfully or affectedly shy or reserved; slyly hesitant; coquettish. 4. Shy; modest. 5. Tending to avoid people and social situations; reserved.

*Decorous [dek-er-uhs] adj formal 1. Having the correct appearance or behaviour for a particular occasion. 2. Characterized by dignified propriety in conduct, manners, appearance, character, etc. 3. Characterized by or exhibiting decorum; proper.

*Sedate [si-deyt] adj 1. Peaceful, ordinary, and not very exciting. 2. Calm, quiet, or composed; undisturbed by passion or excitement. 3. Serenely deliberate, composed, and dignified in character or manner.

*Coquette [koh-ket] n literary 1. A woman who frequently tries to attract the attention of men without having sincere feelings for them; flirt. 2. A woman who flirts lightheartedly with men to win their admiration and affection.

All *-ed words are just to clarify certain words in the definition(s) of the first word.

The next two are dedicated to Germ Foong.

Motherly [muhth-er-lee] adj 1. Similar to or typical of a good mother.

Maternal [muh-tur-nl] adj 1. Typical of the way a good mother behaves or feels. 2. Of, pertaining to, having the qualities of, or befitting a mother.

Whatever it is, if you've used one or more of the above words on me, look at the following word. Then you'll find that you've been wrong all along. Hahahah.

Subtle [suht-l] adj 1. Not easy to notice or understand unless you pay careful attention. 2. Someone who is subtle uses indirect methods to hide what they really want or intend to do. 3. Cunning, wily, or crafty; devious.

[68]

2009-08-29T21:08:00.000+08:00

I love this song!

What Sweeter Music
Music by John Rutter, words by Robert Herrick

What sweeter music can we bring
Than a carol, for to sing
The birth of this our heav'nly King?
Awake the voice! Awake the string!

Dark and dull night, fly hence away,
And give the honour to this day
That sees December turn'd to May,
That sees December turn'd to May.

Why does the chilling winter's morn
Smile, like a field beset with corn?
Or smell like a meadow newly shorn

Thus on the sudden? Come and see
The cause, why things thus fragrant be:

'Tis he is born, whose quick'ning birth
Gives life and lustre, public mirth,
To heaven and the underearth.

We see him come, and know him ours,
Who, with his sunshine and his show'rs,
Turns the patient ground to flow'rs,
Turns all the patient ground to flow'rs.

The darling of the world is come,
And fit it is, we find a room
To welcome him, to welcome him.

The nobler part of all the house here, is the heart,
Which we will give him; and bequeath
This holly, and this ivy wreath,
To do him honour; who's our King,
And Lord of all this revelling.

What sweeter music can we bring
Than a carol, for to sing
The birth of this our heav'nly King,
the birth of this our heavenly King.

[67]

2009-08-28T23:30:00.000+08:00

How much is enough, really?

This semester is like a semester of new experiences. Today I was dizzy the entire day. Amazing.
(Only Weesiong asked if I was okay, so hahah, thank you my FAVOURITEST senior!)

I suspect I'm getting better at lying/pretending, but that remains to be seen.

I'm really trying very hard to make some things work out.
The thing is, sometimes effort doesn't count, only results do.
I get that everyone's overwhelmed by stuff, and has tons and tons to complete.
So how much effort on my part will be considered enough?

Hurhur I think I'm asking for it. So who else to blame but myself?

ENOUGH EMOING. I shall go and sleep, and tomorrow will be better.

[66]

2009-08-24T01:02:00.002+08:00

Cathartic blog entries. I feel like posting five times a day hurhur.

I still have no solutions for rearranging my priorities in a way that doesn't kill me 'cause everything is too darn important.

So I have three options now. Three ways of coping, in fact. Or three things that I feel like doing.

1. Run away, hide at home, or run away and hide.
2. Vomit.
3. Not eat. (It took me a few years to figure out the reason for this, plus keeping track of my weight actually gives me this sick rush of adrenaline.)

Remember what I said about killing people who screw me over? I was thinking this afternoon, what if I'm the one screwing my own life? Then what, suicide? Hmm.

No idea why I'm doing the things I do, even though I don't feel like doing them. And I'm not talking about homework.

[65]

2009-08-23T10:02:00.003+08:00

I think I need to reprioritize.

But as it is, there isn't much that I can cut out of my life anymore. Next thing to go will be the people, and that ain't such a good idea, is it?

Or maybe I should just cut down on Facebook time hurhurhur.

[64]

2009-08-20T12:25:00.004+08:00

It's lunchtime, I'm waiting for my Outreach duty slot and waaaaaaay bored out of my mind so I figure I might as well blog about week 2 of school. Heh.

Actually, ever since school started, life has just been one long string of sleeping at 0200h and waking up at 0530h. Even on so-called "free days". (I really should stop arranging driving lessons to be at 0800h on Wednesday. Can literally die, if I zone out while driving.) I don't mind sleeping late and waking up early, as long as I don't feel tired in between. Unfortunately that's quite impossible.

My classes have been great so far, especially the English ones. It's not that I regret doing a Life Sciences major; it's just that I don't understand why I'm doing this if something else inspires me more. (No wait. I do understand why. It's the same reason for willingly flying from end to end of the campus and trying to survive 8 consecutive hours of lectures on Tuesdays. Grr.)

The more committee stuff I take part in, the more I realize how difficult it is to deal with people. (And believe me, some people have an EQ so low that I feel like strangling them when I talk to them 'cause all they do is sound like they're accusing me of one thing or another. And there I am trying my best to be politically correct... Geez. Fine, some of them do try to clarify afterwards. But still.)

CCA-wise there's just a lot a lot A LOT of things to do on top of a lot a lot A LOT of confusion. So I'm not quite sure what's going on. (I hate messy handovers.) Thank goodness for an awesome vice-chairperson who helps to remember all the details of tasks hahahah. Think this is the most disorganized state I've ever been in.

The worst part of having messy handovers is that the duties are not very clear-cut, and we just have far too many people in power at the same time. And then stuff that's not my fault becomes mine. (This I really can't stand 'cause bloody hell, I'll gladly admit it if it's my fault, but if that's not the case, I'm not going to be anyone scapegoat.) Granted, I might have dealt with it in a better way. I suppose.

So shit happened on Monday and Tuesday 'cause of one bombshell or another. People really need to give me all the parts of the puzzle AT THE SAME TIME instead of doling 'em out in small doses. Otherwise it becomes my freaking fault when things get messed up. SHEESH. Okay that's beside the point. On Wednesday I decided that okay, I dug myself into a hole, so now I'll get myself out. No one is going to screw around with my life any more, and I will really kill whoever does so. With words or otherwise.

I know Stanley thinks that this isn't just a hole, it's a flaming fire pit, but never mind. The main point is that I will turn murderous if they attempt to kill me.

The whole suddenly-came-to-a-decision thing was a new experience though. It was like something in my brain just clicked and everything fell into place. Quite cool, hahah, but the clarity is a bit scary. (Ooh this reminds me of Scott Westerfeld's Specials.)

So now it's Thursday. I'm behind on my readings, already. CCAs do take up darn a lot of time when it comes to solving the people problems.

I'm looking forward to choir rehearsals though. Think I've missed far too many of those 'cause of SOW.

Okay. Um. I might as well admit it. I'm looking forward to singing but not to hanging out with the people. (I doubt any of them read this anyway. Should be quite safe.) The more time I spend apart from them, the less I want to spend time with them. And I suspect the kinda shocking piece of news Steph semi-threw at me has something to do with it. But aiyah. Whatever.

That said, Mark and I were very amused when Dr. Hiramoto showed a video of vocal cords during EL1101E. Everyone else was super grossed out (yeah girls were screaming away), but we just went like "Eh this looks familiar! Mrs. Tay showed this to us during rehearsal!" hahahahahah.

Oh look, I just killed 45 minutes of my lunchtime. Yay.
Can kind of tell that I'm just trying to hide behind my laptop the way other people hide behind shades right. Hurhur. I miss having the same classes with Fadz/Larry/JC. One common module is really not enough.

And PEARL! If Little Miss MIA shows up, make her post her schedule on the thread!

Hmm I should try to read a bit more of the textbook. Sigh.

[63]

2009-08-14T21:12:00.000+08:00

What an eventful first week of school.

Day 1 was crazy, with four lectures back-to-back. AND befriending after the school day ended.
I had no classes on days 2 and 3, but was in school for CCA and other stuff, and I managed to regress to my bad habit of skipping lunch.
Day 4 (i.e. today) was unproductive 'cause I slept through at least half of my lectures. Many thanks to the headache + sore throat + fever. On top of that I collected a textbook that's heavier than my 2.93 kg laptop, and lugged both of those items around.

Other events include tripping on the stairs TWICE on the first day of school (NUS is far too hilly for my liking), killing the showerhead, getting screwed over by various people (yet again, I don't know why I keep ending up in this kind of planning shit), and just doing a lot of stupid things unrelated to studying.

Okay I know I'm being unreasonable. Hopefully next week will be better.

That said, credit goes to Pearl for listening to all my nonsense and cheering me up, and also to Fadz for being to discuss certain (ahem) stuff with. Love you girls!

[62]

2009-07-26T17:46:00.001+08:00

Since the last post, I've been busy doing a lot of rubbish.

We planned and filmed the OG video, in which I skipped around a la Gabriella Montez/Vanessa Hudgens a lot. (Thankfully we were all skipping together, so it's not that bad. Hahah.) The unfortunate thing was that "We're All in This Together" was stuck in my head for at least four days after that.

Rehearsals have started again, yay. We're back to our usual singing-ending-taking an hour to decide where to eat routine.

Pearl, Germ, and I had a Transformers party. The board game was... interesting 'cause it was more funny than fun. Megatron kept falling down. The movie was fun to watch, though it was kinda draggy in the beginning, and the emo-music, slow-mo, drama-drama climax of the movie was a bit over-the-top. At least Optimus Prime and Josh Duhamel were hot.

After watching it, I realized that hot is hot no matter which role the guy is cast in. Not the lead? Never mind. You can still catch people's eyes by your face alone. (Yeah, don't even need the body.) Hahah.

We baked muffins and cookies during befriending. The muffins were okay, but some of the cookies tasted like a mixture of sweet, salty, and bitter. Very strange. (I think it had something to do with us forgetting to add in the brown sugar, and adding it only after the dough was more or less done.)

I... will not talk about the matriculation fair. It was CCA day all over again, and it reminded me of how we used to badger people to "just put your name down, no obligations!". Hahah.

This year's NDP is going to be totally awesome! Hahah yeah, I got to watch the preview. It's really different from other years' NDP. You'll just have to watch it for yourself to see how it is. All I can say is that it's so multimedia. So many things are going on at the same time that one doesn't know where to look.

It's a rehearsal, so there was quite a bit of "looking at other people to see what the next action is" among the performers, but I'm sure it'll be great by the time August 9 comes around.

Whee two days to SOW. Let's see how much tanner I can get. Hahahah.

[61]

2009-07-16T00:16:00.005+08:00

I haven't laid an eye on this blog for ages. Gosh. (Gone are the days when I wanted to blog five times in twenty-four hours.)

Anyway. I am officially sick of my holidays. I want to go back to school.
It got so bad that I actually semi-wished I was back in the science library studying for exams. (Though I think the glaring sun contributed some. I miss the library aircon.)
The CORS website didn't help; it's still majorly depressing, even if it did give me hope of doing EL1101E next sem.

Coordinating modules is a headache, and so is coordinating people. If getting eight persons to come together equals a headache, I can't imagine what getting twenty-eight persons to come together will be like.
We shall see in a week's time. (Whee, SOW!)

On a brighter note, I was watching Supernatural. It does amazing things to my mood hahahah.

Watching old episodes brings back memories of hiding behind cushions/notes/whatever was on my hands, and I can only say that it's not very smart to watch it at night. Especially for gutless people like me.

No props for me this time round; I got through it without hiding, thanks to my amusement at Jared Padalecki's old floppy hairdo (which I didn't like, and still don't).

Next on the go-figure list: why scary scenes without Dean/Sam are boring, and scary scenes with Dean/Sam aren't scary.

[60]

2009-06-25T21:06:00.002+08:00

The girls and I went out to watch I Love You Man. It's kinda strange to watch a bromance comedy with girls, but whatever, it's good for an afternoon of mindlessness. Definitely beats our usual sitting-eating-rotting routine.

It wasn't a particularly memorable movie, nor a particularly stunning one. The whole thing felt very draggy and some bits of the plot were just too good to be true. (E.g. the forgiveness routine. Soooo expected.)

I think I only know how to appreciate comedy flicks starring cute guys. Shallow huh.

Not to say it was an entirely useless movie. It did get me thinking about "why". (Dang, this reminds me, I had a discussion about this a few days ago.)

Life still feels a bit off lately, so "why" comes in handy as a tool for... reflection.

Sometimes it's just very hard to talk to people about certain things.

[59]

2009-06-04T23:31:00.002+08:00

I have no freaking idea what I'm doing with my life.

People who've graduated from the school system should know how to:
1. Settle their own issues and not have people chasing after them for stuff, and
2. Not create trouble for other people.
3. Not ask stupid questions that people have already answered.

Schools are so not teaching people the right skills.

If the above paragraphs seem unconnected in ideas, you'll just have to take my word for it that they sure are linked.

Excuse me while I try to figure out what exactly it is that I'm doing.

[58]

2009-06-02T01:48:00.002+08:00

And look, another year has passed,
another set of repertoire put behind us.

Last year I started the entry with an Alto batch photo.
This year we didn't take any.
But well, Mel, Yan, Drea, Germ, and I sang.
HH and Leh came to support.
KERR! You're the missing link!

Before Limmy came back from overseas, our batch made up the bulk of the altos, plus we were the oldest Altos. Hahah I think we were a lil' stressed ever since Mindy and Krystal said they won't be around/singing this year, 'cause then the older altos would be gone. The stress came from us being pretty junior compared to those who've been around a lot, sung a lot, and knew a lot.

About half a year on, I see that there's really nothing much to stress about. Everyone has stuff to work on, no matter how long they've been singing. Funny how the hierachy lines get blurred in the alumni choir.

This year we haven't spent much time with the college choir, so I have to admit that I barely know them. Granted, I know the J2s. As for the J1s... I can only recognize those standing beside me.

Keeping the whole "friendship/singing WITH friends" thing in mind, I just wished I could have gotten to know them better before AEWF. It's easier/more fun to sing with people you know. (But of course, there'll be more chances to get to know them.)

Nicholas remarked that AEWF is like Chinese New Year for our choir, and I thought that was a nice analogy. It's a huge reunion for family and friends, batchmates, direct seniors/juniors, etc. It's amazing when you see for yourself the crowds milling around outside Esplanade concert hall catching up with people they've not talked to in ages.

Choir is special because the music made by a choir can never be produced by oneself.
And the reassurance of having teammates by your side, onstage... I don't think anything can ever replace that.

As have been repeated many times over, it's all about friendship and trust.

Here we close another chapter.

[57]

2009-05-29T10:58:00.000+08:00

I want to be a stunning student.

[56]

2009-05-22T02:27:00.002+08:00

Highlight of the day.

The Western food stall auntie at ACJC remembers me, even though I haven't seen her in a year and a half.

I miss her mushroom and cheese omelette with mashed potatoes.

Granted, it might not be the best omelette, or the best potatoes, but it reminded me of JC days, of comfort food during long breaks, of having familiar people around me all the time (i.e. classmates).

It reminded me of a time when I had no doubts about what I want to/have to do.

Anyway, I'm still really happy that she remembers me. And that is the point of this post.

[55]

2009-05-19T19:49:00.001+08:00

Top 5 gripes of the week.

1. I am sick of having to check multiple email accounts.
2. Working with inefficient or MIA people gives me a headache.
3. Not to mention, it makes me irritable towards other innocent souls.
4. I am trying very hard not to bitch about the people mentioned in #2.
5. I am trying very hard not to bitch to the innocent souls mentioned in #3.

Top 5 smile-inducers of the week.

1. I'm starting on the final 2008 issue of Time. Finally.
2. I'm reading The Chronicles of Narnia. (But the downside is that I'm beginning to wish I'd watched Prince Caspian.)
3. Chocomilk is dressed like an Indian princess.
4. I have no meetings with the people mentioned in #2 of the previous list. (Even though that doesn't mean that I don't have to deal with them.)
5. Jonathan Togo (Ryan Wolfe in CSI: Miami) is cute. So is Kris Allen. So is Bradley James.

[54]

2009-05-05T20:52:00.002+08:00

I cannot wait to say goodbye to Gene, Cheri, Bob, and Choc.

24 hours till freedom!

(And yeah, I just had to commemorate this occasion. Hurhur.)

[53]

2009-04-27T22:40:00.002+08:00

Would you still wish for something, if you know that you can't have it?
Would you still wish for something, if you know that you shouldn't think about having it?

Would it make a difference, if you made a wish anytime you could, believing in any lore that existed?
Would it make a difference, if you had faith in the remotest possibility that it could happen?

If I'd been more persistent, stood firm for my beliefs...
If I was less naive, less stupid...
If I was better at compartmentalising my thoughts, like how I compartmentalise my life...

Then I wouldn't have needed to come here to get rid of all these (still) unspoken thoughts.

Why else did you think this post sounded so vague?

[52]

2009-04-18T21:06:00.002+08:00

It was a surprising dinner, to say the least.
I think I learnt some things.

1. Steer clear of potentially sensitive topics.
2. Let guys do their thing. E.g. if they want to act/be chivalrous, let them.

What's most unexpected about it was that it was an enjoyable dinner, exactly like meeting with a very very old friend.
Unfortunately I forgot to factor in the potential wistfulness.
And for the first time ever, I got nagged at about studying. Hahah.

This is just a mish-mash of random stuff, but... oh well. Oh well.

[51]

2009-04-10T12:46:00.005+08:00

I know people care.
So thanks, Pearl, Taha, Wee Kiat, Eileen, Jackie, Larry, and Songhan. (I was very surprised that my brother commented on my wall. Hurhur.)

The line between demanding and driven can be very thin, and some people (perhaps unknowingly) cross the line without regard to others' situations.
Which is why I say that it is important that we treat each other with courtesy and understanding when working in a group. That's when projects become enjoyable and not end up being a chore.

It's also a good idea to check things out before asking for stuff or yelling at people.
I was ill, woozy, dizzy, running a fever, had a sore throat which hurt so darn much that even my head pounded, and I get people yelling at me to wake up to eat dinner and accusing me of various things or other.
Sometimes I wonder why on earth I bother to do stuff for certain people.
When you don't feel well and try to appear okay so that others don't worry, they think you're really fine and ask even more of you.
Some people are really not worth the trouble.

ToGetHer inspired me to check out Tagore's Stray Birds, and I only just found out that it's an English text translated from Bengali.

This line was especially poignant:
84
In death the many becomes one; in life the one becomes many.
Religion will be one when God is dead.

This shouldn't be viewed as blasphemy.

It just so happens that the topic of God/religions came up over lunch with Kaiming and Terence a few days ago, and there was all this talk about how religion is used as a divisive tool.

I still think it's wrong to condemn other religions because it's different.
To a certain extent, it's true that religion has been used as a means to obtain power or leverage over others. This doesn't seem to be the original intention of proper/real religions, which should inspire people to do good.
There're far too many conflicts, and perhaps unifying all religions might bring some peace.

"Religion will be one when God is dead."

I think the headache got to my brain a bit too much.

[50]

2009-04-03T09:24:00.002+08:00

Yeah, I mugged for my biochem test.
And all I got out of it was...

Possible names for my kids.
Set 1: Alanine/Serine (daughters), Tyrosine (son)
Set 2: Amylase (daughter), Xylanase (son)

And for set 2, if you take away the "-ase", they're actually pretty normal names.

MUGGING IS MAKING ME STUPID argh.

[49]

2009-03-22T00:55:00.002+08:00

Yesterday I wrote 1.25 A4-sized page worth of words. It turns out that I forgot how cathartic writing can be.

As it is, life is a chaotic mess right now.
And I'm currently not a big fan of people in general.

I don't know what I'm doing, and every other day I think about shooting myself in the head/jumping off a building.
I need to think of new ways to die. Those are getting old.

Great, I've just broken my mid-sem resolution to be less whiny.

What a piece of random rubbish.

[48]

2009-03-07T23:59:00.002+08:00

I cannot tell you how much I hate being screwed over.
And when you're being screwed over by more than one group of people, it's double/triple/quadruple the feeling of I-want-to-strangle-someone-NOW.

I'm being a whiny bitch, but whatever.

[47]

2009-03-06T22:19:00.005+08:00

I haven't blogged for... gosh, 5 weeks.
It's been a crazy month, but now I'll catch up on the blogging. Not that a lot of people actually read this, hahah.

The Game of Life party was pretty fun. It was just nice to sit there and play stupid games in a comfortable ambience. In other words, with people you know so well that it's okay to be dumb in front of them. It'd have been more fun if I was less woozy from tiredness.

GoL is interesting but it can get a tad boring, since it doesn't exactly require players to do much thinking. Spin the wheel, move your car, follow instructions on the cards. That's about it.
I'll never forget the "Dean's list" though. Double meaning hahahah. And yeah, not many people get it. I actually got people asking me "HUH you're really on the dean's list?!". Hilarious.

The altoes met up for dinner/catch-up... twice in a week. Amazing that most of us were there despite the insane schedules of tests/projects/presentations/work/whatever. Seven out of eight is pretty good, regardless of how annoyed Yan is that not all eight were present. Hahah.

Playing the Singaporean version of Taboo was really funny too. The photos and the quotes are somewhere on Facebook but I'm too lazy to copy-and-paste them here.

I had thrice the birthday celebrations this year, though I didn't celebrate it at home. (The benefits of having many CCAs, hurhur.) All in all I blew out 41 years' worth of candles.
Thank you altos, for the ice-cream cupcakes and especially the laughter during all our gatherings.
Thank you FOPCC, for the (not-very-good) attempt at doing a surprise birthday thing.
Thank you alumni choir, for the surprise birthday brownie.
And of course, my lovely OG mates (Sarah/Huiling/Johan/Weekeat/Stanley) for the food-presents.
Oh, and all the other friends who wished me a happy birthday.

Strangely enough, despite all the chocolate cakes, ice-cream, doughnuts, bubble tea, cookies, brownies, and more, I lost 3 kg. (I haven't gotten it back; can't decide whether to rejoice or not.)

I'm actually glad to turn 20. It's pretty much an in-between age: no longer a teenager, not yet an adult. Adulthood might not be fun, but I think I'll like it better than being a kid, 'cause people will listen you just because of your age.
So yeah, I'm not fazed by the big two-oh.

All the boring bits shall be skipped. On to the mid-sem break.
It shouldn't come as a surprise that my break was packed. Committee meeting-project meeting-rehearsal-project meeting-committee meeting-tuition-piano lesson-oh guess what, the break is over. Sigh.

I like my project groups, so that makes the project meetings easier. Plus, both of my project groups are really efficient. I LIKE. A LOT. We can finish meetings in one hour or less. Hahah.

Pearl, Germ, and I went to One Fullerton's Coffee Bean to sit-slack-study. It was super relaxing, so much so that I fell asleep while trying to ~~finish~~ start my readings.

Hooray for friends with at least 5 years' of history, for friends with whom you can do anything and not be judged, for friends who can read your mind, for friends with whom sitting-and-stoning is a worthwhile activity and not a complete waste of time.

I'm done with the past month.
The present ain't that pretty because...

It's been an unlucky weekend.
First I keep (accidentally) kicking my ankle with the really hard base of my sandals. Then I broke a plate last night and cut my foot. (The plate smashed and this shard bounced off the floor onto my foot. Ouch.) And today, my calculator conked out in the middle of my test even though it was fine yesterday.

Gosh, and it's not even Friday the 13th yet.

[46]

2009-02-05T01:05:00.002+08:00

My life is descending into chaos once again.

My head hurts, I have a lot of things to do (not all of which are totally under my control), and I just really want to get away from these for a little while.

Which is why I'm looking forward to the Game of Life party with Pearl and Germ. It's pretty much the only thing worth looking forward to for this week.

This week and the next are a mess of events and activities, all in rapid succession.
No lunch break, no dinner break, no I-need-a-rest break.
I haven't slept much for the past week, and whatever decreased amounts of sleep I got, I was in a nightmare. Think the lack of sleep, on top of non-stop stuff, is making me grouchy.

[45]

2009-02-01T07:51:00.002+08:00

I hate waking up from a nightmare. I especially hate the crappy feeling I get when I'm halfway between dreaming and waking up because of the whole I'm-awake-but-freaked-out-by-the-freaky-things-in-the-nightmare thing.

And I've been having many ridiculous nightmares. Some scary, some weird, some exam-related, some school-related, all freaking-out-related. Think a pattern is emerging.

That said, I'm really happy that rehearsals are starting again. About one month of not singing/seeing the same people every week and I've forgotten how much of a joy it is to spend time with these people doing something we all love.

Busy busy busy once more!

[44]

2009-01-29T12:25:00.002+08:00

I'm in the Science library.
I'm alone.
I'm having my lunchbreak.
I'm bored.

The Essential Disney Love Song Collection
Treasures by Richard Clayderman

These two albums caught my eye while I was reading the email that Popular bookstore sent me.
Never mind that I don't really listen to CDs now, hahah. They're worth checking out still.

I'm babbling 'cause I'm really really bored. Grrr.
No desire to mug either.

Anyway I was doing Yahoo! crosswords with Fadz during my morning lecture. I learnt that Tampines is actually the name of a plant, and that 'meh' is the new word associated with boredom.

See. Not listening doesn't equate to not learning.

[43]

2009-01-27T23:47:00.002+08:00

Happy CNY!

This year I got sick of walking around visiting people and of all the sweet food after one day.
Actually, I'm sick of eating too. Three reunion-dinner-ish meals with a lot a lot a lot a lot of food is way too much food for my eyes and brain to digest.

No more red dress this year either. Currently, my favourite thing about CNY is the longish weekend.

Unfortunately it's cut a tad shorter by certain stuff which I need to do. In other words, I need to return to school to do some... stuff.

Oh well.

[42]

2009-01-22T12:56:00.002+08:00

I am going to turn into a season 1 finale Peter Petrelli if I don't get this out of my system.
Actually, even if I get this out of my system, I can't promise that I won't become a s1fPP.

Some systems are really dumb. Some people do things in really dumb ways. Some people think up really dumb ideas.

Some dumb things I really, really, REALLY disagree with. (But cannot do anything about. Which explains why I'm ranting.)

The crux of the problem is, there's a communication problem. Stuff never gets finalized. Settled details always change by the next meeting. Stuff are only started way close to the deadline.

I can't say that I can do a better job, but when it... okay I probably shouldn't say more.

Maybe I should do something about this situation.

[41]

2009-01-21T23:22:00.002+08:00

The days seem to pass slower... and sloooower... and slooooooooooooower.
Seriously.

Everytime it feels like Thursday, I look at the calendar and realize it's only Tuesday. I swear, it's not because I keep hoping the weekend will arrive sooner.

My hypothesis is that because of the (kinda) immense workload, it feels like I've done many days' worth of stuff when only one day has passed. (Efficient huh!)

Or it could be because school's really boring and time crawls by.

Either way, one more day to my long, long CNY weekend.

[40]

2009-01-15T22:24:00.003+08:00

Ever heard of this song?

Que Sera, Sera

When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother, "What will I be?
Will I be pretty? Will I be rich?"
Here's what she said to me.

"Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours to see.
Que Sera, Sera.
What will be, will be."

When I was just a kid in school,
I asked my teacher, "What will I be?
Will I be teaching? Will I be rich?"
Here's what she said to me.

"Que Sera, Sera,
Whatever will be, will be.
The future's not ours to see.
Que Sera, Sera.
What will be, will be."

The kid, the mom, and the teacher all have strange mentalities.

The kid seems to be obsessed with being pretty and rich. Did no one ever tell her that beauty is skin-deep, and that she should care more about her exam results than how she looks?
Okay, maybe looks will get her places. If she wants to be a model or an artiste. But she wants to be a teacher! So she what, intends to charm the students into listening to her with her beauty? Or perhaps looking pretty will make her students pay attention, especially the male students.

And the two adults sound so typically submissive. "Whatever will be, will be"? What happened to taking things into our own hands? What happened to working hard to get what you want?

'Tis a screwed-up world.

Okay, I'm just ranting rubbish. Don't mind me. Hahah.

[39]

2009-01-13T23:14:00.004+08:00

Semester 2 has started.
I've completely lost the ability to wake up early. Thank goodness I have no lectures at 0800h.
Unfortunately, most of my days end at 1800h. I.e. peak hour, which means shoving and pushing and trying to get on the bus so that I can have dinner before I starve.

Not all my modules are first-choice ones for me, but I think they'll be fun. Especially the one titled "Are we alone?". Hahah. Science fiction and all stuff related is love.

This spider keeps crawling onto my laptop. Strange.

Time to mugmugmugmugmug again.

[38]

2009-01-10T17:29:00.003+08:00

My brother introduced me to this website, and I found some cute stuff there.

"A stranger stabs you in the front.
A friend stabs you in the back.
A boyfriend stabs you in the heart,
But best friends just poke each other with straws."
-Meghan Sherwood

"Someday your prince charming will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions."

"What is the difference between facebooked and bookfaced?
Those who are bookfaced are not on Facebook."
-Oleg Vishnepolsky

"People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege."

"I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong. Turns out, I was mistaken."

"No one will win the battle of the sexes; there's too much flirting with the enemy."
-Henry Kissinger

"Forgive your enemies, but never, never forget their names."
-John F. Kennedy

[37]

2009-01-04T00:46:00.005+08:00

What the alumni choir does after a very very filling barbecue dinner with a lot of meat. (You have to admit, it's a pretty picture.)

Altos '07: Reunion dinner on 02012009, sadly missing Andrea.

What a feast. Sid and Chorks joined us, so it was the usual altos+2basses thing.

The card games were fun, and so was the version of Murderer Mel tried to teach us. We're really not very good at making small talk and playing psychological games at the same time. Except for Yan. Yan's the sneaky one, hahah.

It's true that psychological games are tough to play with people you've known for ages, 'cause it gets a bit scary that people whom you trust might be the murderer/accomplice. Only a game, but mind games do stuff to your mind.

Worse still, playing with people you know really well means that it's hard to lie and convince each other that someone is/isn't the murderer.

Happy, happy, happy night.

[36]

2009-01-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 2009!

[35]

2008-12-30T02:02:00.002+08:00

This is a record month of barbecues. I've had two, skipped one, and there's one coming up really soon. At the rate I'm ingesting carcinogens... Bad news.

Barbecue #1: Germaine's.
Pearl and I hung out at her house the entire afternoon watching The Dark Knight. One single movie. Whatever happened to our movie marathon/Supernatural fest?! Next time we've got to be more efficient.
That said, it was rather relaxing. No stress, no hurry, nothing to do except laze on the couch. I really need more of this.
Come to think of it, we forgot to take a photo together.

Barbecue #2: Alumni barbecue.
It was quite fun, especially the Pictionary and sparklers part.
And this part is really short 'cause I don't know what to say. There were some nice sparklers pictures, so I'll share them when they appear on Facebook. Hahah.

Today was a day of miracles, because Donald replied my email and Ernest added me on Facebook. Amazing.

[34]

2008-12-23T00:38:00.004+08:00

Batch of 2007's christmas gathering/dinner.

The compulsory group photo.

It was really nice to see people I haven't seen in ages and ages. Though only about half the batch was there, it was pretty successful. Goodness knows how much effort the planners (Jerome, Reuben, Bong, and Brendan, if I'm not wrong) have put in for this. Thank you all!

Everything's kind of different, but still the same. No doubt it's (ahem) wilder than christmas parties from college days. Amazingly we didn't sing... Okay, we tried to. The "Huh carols again?!" sentiment was far too strong so we gave up. Not that I was complaining, hahah.

All of us have changed, at least a little. Army and university lives do affect people somewhat. BUT. There're still lots of little things that I've been seeing since we were still in college that I appreciate a lot more after being to university and NOT seeing this kind of considerate acts there.

Easy camaraderie doesn't come by that often. That night, just sitting to the side, watching friends talk and camwhore and catch up on lives and simply enjoying each other's company was enough to make people feel content.

[33]

2008-12-08T14:25:00.004+08:00

Sonnets by Edmund Spenser: (30) from Amoretti

My love is like to ice, and I to fire:
How comes it then that this her cold so great
Is not dissolved through my so hot desire,
But harder grows the more I her entreat?

Or how comes it that my exceeding heat
Is not allayed by her heart-frozen cold,
But that I burn much more in boiling sweat,
And feel my flames augmented manifold?

What more miraculous thing may be told,
That fire, which all things melt, should harden ice,
And ice, which is congeal's with senseless cold,
Should kindle fire by wonderful device?

Such is the power of love in gentle mind,
That it can alter all the course of kind.

And, this just goes to show that love is full of oxymorons, ironies, and what-nots.

[32]

2008-12-08T14:13:00.003+08:00

Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night by Dylan Thomas

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Villanelles are simply amazing. And incredibly difficult to write.

[31]

2008-11-29T20:09:00.000+08:00

I am so glad the exams are over. After a week or two of intensive studying, your brain's not really your own anymore, y'know. It kind of belongs to the mugging-alien-spirit realm... which is not a good thing when you're still expected to talk to people and stay coherent, not spout stuff related to opportunity costs/stagflation/mammals/DIBAH/other reagents/bell curve/standard deviation etc.

Final paper: lit. And I lugged all my four texts to school. On the way back I went to the library to stock up on teen-lit-ish "trashy" books, so I was carrying twelve books on the bus. Heavy, but satisfying. I had no idea what to borrow when I stepped into the library. Comes from four months of not borrowing anything other than textbooks. Ugh.

After rehearsal we had this looooong lunch-and-coffee-after thing, and it was totally relaxing. This is what an afternoon with friends ought to feel like; such a nice way to end exam week.

[30]

2008-11-20T14:24:00.004+08:00

mug /mahg/ n [C] 1 a large cup with straight sides used for drinking tea, coffee etc. 2 a large glass with straight sides and a handle, used especially for drinking beer: rugby players swilling mugs of beer at the bar 3 also mugful a mug and the liquid inside it: Two mugs of tea, please. 4 BrE spoken someone who is stupid and easy to deceive: I expect they'll find some poor mug to buy their car. 5 spoken a face: What an ugly mug! 6 a mug's game BrE spoken something that is not likely to be successful or profitable: Gambling is a mug's game, Jonah.

mug v mugged, mugging 1 [T] to attack someone and rob them in a public place: A lot of people won't go out alone at night for fear of being mugged. 2 [I] AmE informal to make silly expressions with your face or behave in a silly way, especially in a photograph or a play: Scotty's always mugging for the camera.
mug up phr v [I, T] BrE informal to study something very hard, especially when preparing for an exam: mug sth up He's got to mug up some facts about pollution [+ on] She's mugging up on Racine for her French paper.

mug.ger /'mahgger/ n [C] someone who attacks people and robs them in a public place

mug.ging /'mahgging/ n [C, U] an attack on someone in which they are robbed in a public place: There has been an increase in muggings at the park.

mug.gins /'mahgginz/ n [singular] spoken BrE used jokingly to mean yourself, when you know you have been stupid and let other people treat you unfairly: Everyone disappeared after supper, leaving muggins here to do the washing-up.

mug.gy /'mahggie/ adj muggier, muggiest informal muggy weather is unpleasantly warm and the air seems wet: The air was muggy and damp, threatening a storm later. --mugginess n [U]

Definitions courtesy of Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English.

And here's the definition from an alternative dictionary.

mug v mugged, mugging 1 [T] to study very hard: Students love to mug in the school library. 2 [T] SgpE student colloquial to cram all information from notes and textbooks into one's brains in the hope that they turn out relevant during exams

mug.ger /'mahgger/ n [C] someone who is very diligent and mugs a lot, often staying up entire nights to study

closet mugger /'.. ,../ n [C] someone who mugs a lot but does so in the privacy of his own room so that other people will not find out the extent of his mugging

mug.ging /'mahgging/ n [C, U] a group activity in which muggers gather at a public place, usually a library, to study together: There has been an increase in mugging sessions ever since exam season started.

Mugging sessions are classified into two types: productive and non-productive. They usually start out non-productive, but evolve to become productive as the exam season nears. Non-productive mugging sessions are usually accompanied with relatively high noise levels and a lot of laughter, while hair-clutching and frantic scribbling or highlighting are observed during productive sessions. Productivity has a positive correlation with stress levels, as recent studies have shown, but causative effects have yet to be proven.

[29]

2008-11-17T20:31:00.002+08:00

I'll save the definition of mugging for the next entry. Procrastination is bad but I really can't help it; mugging has to come first or I'll die for the final exams.

The revision is going nowhere, by the way. I've been sleeping a lot (i.e. not studying) for the past three days 'cause my stomach hurts. Hopefully it gets better soon 'cause exams are in less than a week's time.

Time to hit the books again...

[28]

2008-11-15T00:24:00.012+08:00

The semester is over! Now for the exams. Yay.

I'm really glad that the last day of semester 1 was a good day. Lit. tutorial in the morning was pretty fruitful, even if I didn't quite understand every single thing during the class. (To tell the truth, I didn't understand any of the questions in the tutorial, but oh well.) It helps that my tutor is a nice person. And an excellent tutor. (Unfortunate for him that this lousy lit. student is in his class. Very unfortunate.)

Then I had lunch with Yuekai and Johan at the engineering canteen. Nice food. (I wouldn't be able to stomach science canteen food 'cause I absolutely insist that my last meal in school for this semester must be a nice one.)
The mix of company is rather weird, I know. A girl from the school of business in my lit. class and a guy from my OG. And the guy can be rather weird, to boot.
It was a good lunch 'cause the food was YUM. Everyone should try the Indonesian grilled food stall in the engineering canteen.

Johan is amazing at exploiting people's friendships. I can't reveal the reasons yet... except for one: he calls up friends to serve as lunch company when he's alone in school. Staying in a hall has its downsides huh.

After that I had my last lesson for the semester. Thank goodness it was a fun one. Hahah. Final lesson, final practical: a trip to the zoo! Everyone who can should take the biodiversity module too. LSM1103; go check it out. Heh.

The zoo is a great place to spend the entire afternoon in, but having great company makes it even better. A4 is a funny group. (Maybe 'cause we're named after the standard paper size. HAHAH.)

Okay um, credits to Wes and his brother's camera for the photos. (I plucked them off Facebook.)

Animal species 1. Our lab group's unofficial rep who was forced upon the job. He does a good job of emailing everyone and telling them to wear the science faculty tee though. He calls himself the monitor lizard. ('Cause class monitor/lab group monitor. Get it? Sorry eh, this isn't very funny. Bio students' joke.)

Camwhoring on the bus. See how well we're camouflaged against the blue backdrop of the bus? Biodiversity lessons come in handy.

Our group with the nice lecturer aka Otterman. (He studies otters hahah.)

Too bad our TA had something on, so he couldn't come. We had an Andrew-Seow-lookalike substitute TA who was very nice to us too.

Animal species 2. Wes in a raincoat that makes him look like he's going trick-or-treating. Halloween's over, my boy.

It was raining very heavily on our way there, and we were all going "OH NO" on the bus. Thankfully after we reached, it slowed to a drizzle, but not after Ricky spent $15 on an umbrella. (More about the brolly later.)

I'm pretending that this act of blogging is a way to consolidate the stuff I've learnt, so humour me. Here goes the more interesting parts. (Gosh I'm actually reading my practical schedule as I type this.)

The tapirs have interesting disruptive colouration. My notes say that they resemble brown watermelons. Hmm.

Each tapir is brown with a white middle section. To me they look like jigsaw puzzles with straight lines; that's how stark the difference in colour is.

It's really a pity we can't see the white tigers 'cause some suicidal guy jumped into the enclosure, got attacked by the tigers, and died. He should have stuck to cleaning the monkey enclosures.

We saw jaguars, leopards and lions though. Big cats are seriously sexy. Especially those sleek lines. Mmmm.

Anyway, tigers are the biggest cats (i.e. the heaviest), followed by lions, jaguars, and leopards. These large cats are slender 'cause of their short alimentary canals (aka digestive tract: mouth, oesophagus/gullet, stomach, intestines etc., you get the idea). Unlike herbivores which need a relatively more complicated digestive system to digest all those cellulose, carnivores don't need so much stuff in their bellies.

One way to remain slim and sexy is to only eat meat huh. HAHAH. (I'm kidding. Don't take my word for it.)

Don't you just love bio terms. Heh. Jargon, jargon.

This just occured to me: Toothpaste is a white tiger!

If you don't know what Toothpaste is, it shows that you haven't been visiting facebook often enough. Check out my (fluff)pet.

Jaguars' coats are patterened with rosettes, with a spot in the centre. Leopards' coats have no spots in the centre of the rosettes but they're really sexy too.

Black panthers are black 'cause of the extra melamine they produce. And black is a sexy colour.

Crap, the zoo trip screwed up my sexual orientation.

Ohhh. Pumas can purr but can't roar, unlike the other big cats. Silent and deadly.

Now about lions. Apparently the darker the mane, the more melamine is produced, the more testosterone the lion has. So lionesses prefer brunette lions to blond lions. (And our TA waited till all the tourists were gone from the little air-conditioned hut before he said this. Hahah.)

The pygmy hippotamus undergoes progenesis, i.e. they develop sexual maturity precociously, so there's no need for them to grow any bigger. Thus they remain small.

Kangaroos are so cute. I love their paws.

There's this whole section on animals found in Australia, which I thought was rather cool. There's also a placard that's dedicated to Steve Irwin. Sweet.

The primates (monkeys/baboons etc.) didn't impress me much, so I won't talk about them. Severe bias. Hahah.

We saw two manatees kissing when we went by their enclosure, and this group of Japanese tourists were going "KAWAII!" and "SO SWEET!".

It was interesting to watch. They were using their tongues... Hmm it should be highly unlikely that they were feeding each other or something. SHOULD BE.

Dugongs have forked tails while manatees have spooned tails. No pun/joke/whatever intended.

Apparently penguins do not only exist at the poles. (I can't remember where else they're found, but they ARE found in tropical areas too.) So there was one open-air area and one air-conditioned area just beside it, and we were like, "Eh why is there an air-conditioned area here?"

Hmm maybe the air-conditioned enclosure is for the richer penguins.

One of the penguins was semi-bald 'cause its feathers fell out, I think. Poor thing.

Otters are cute. And social. And so pretty to watch when they're swimming. Streamlined body shape.

Zebras are black-and-white 'cause their main predator, the lion, is colour blind. And they're striped to mimic their natural habitat, the grassland.

Giraffes are sexy too 'cause they have impossibly long legs with tight skin, such that they look like they're wearing tights. The tight skin on the legs is to prevent excessive blood flow to their limbs (constriction). Their hearts can weigh as much as 20kg, 'cause they need really strong hearts to pump blood all the way up to their heads. Um, their eyes are extremely pretty as they have the thickest and longest eyelashes.

My sentences are badly linked now 'cause it's... 0147h. Oh no, so disjointed.

Two rhinoceros(es?) were fighting when we dropped by their enclosure. They were chasing each other to and fro, and were surprisingly fast. They have thick hides, so predators are not very fond of hunting them. Their butts are huge and saggy. Hahah.

For some reason the rhino reminded me of Jensen Ackles. I'm sure the physical appearances had nothing to do with it.

The orang utan enclosure was closed, but we saw some of them hanging out in the trees. They started swinging on the vines from tree to tree but one was left napping on the platform. And then Wes shouted up to it, "Eh exams are coming!"

In other words, time to get up and study. Wahahah we've become mugging mammals, to use Wes' words.

We saw some bats hanging upside down on branches. Apparently they have to flap and right themselves when they uh, defecate, or their excrement will flow all over their bodies/faces. Ugh.

Alex "Irwin" Goh with a group of croc enthusiasts.

The group went nuts posing with the bronze statues of animals around the entrance/exit. Alex has this series of photos which should be put in an album titled "Alex's dangerous adventures at the zoo". Okay I can't find any of those photos. Basically he was just posing with the statues and taking photos with his foot in their open mouths. He wanted to put his head in but crouching down was a tad too unglam. Hahah.

OHH I forgot about Ricky's umbrella! Anyway after we walked for a while, he started talking about how he wasted $15, and immediately after he said that, it started pouring.

Better still, we were approaching this rainforest open enclosure thing that kinda looked like an aviary, and there was this bridge that we were supposed to walk on. AND, Ricky asked whether we'll see dinosaurs. (Think Jurassic Park.)

I told him, "No. You'd better not say anything in case it really comes true."

Dinner was fun. We ate at KFC, and decided to send a message to our original TA to congratulate him on getting a teaching award. So being the group that we are, we composed identical messages and sent them at the same time. It was like a dictation session HAHAH. One person composed and read it out for everyone to type. Hilarious. People like us with nothing better to do than to annoy others with little pranks... annoying right.

Alex "Irwin" chilling out with a bowl of ice-cream after wrestling with the (fake) croc.

Hahah we shared a Ben and Jerry's ice-cream. Yum yum yum.
We saw this cute caucasian girl with huge eyes and everyone couldn't stop ogling at her. We saw her again at the bus-stop on the way home and the ogling started again. Gosh we're turning into paedophiles!
Maybe the wanting to visit the water playground had something to do with our paedophilic tendencies. Oh my.

I want to visit the zoo again. And the night safari, and the bird park.
Tickets are kind of expensive, but they cost as much as tickets to a concert. Plus you can spend the whole day there, so I guess it's kind of more worth it?

The bus ride and train ride home was hilarious. We've all gone mad with mugging. Normal curve, ellipse, regression line, halophiles, nucleophiles, double-blind randomized control test etc. were terms heard throughout the day. On the other hand, I guess you could say that we were doing some cross-module application. Hahah.

It got so bad that while we were waiting for the train from Choa Chu Kang to Jurong East, while discussing which carriage was more crowded, we hypothesized that the level of crowdedness follows a normal curve (congested in the middle, sparse at the ends). Anyway we found out that that wasn't the case. I can't really draw the curve here, so. Just know that it doesn't follow the normal curve. Don't even ask about the standard deviation and average, which was what Wes did.

I'm tired, and I'm not making sense anymore.
Next entry, I shall explore the definition of mugging. Whee. Do remind me if I get too caught up in mugging and forget all about it.

[27]

2008-11-10T00:33:00.004+08:00

I just finished watching the econs webcast. It's kinda fun, but gosh, the time spent being distracted and rewinding-'cause-I-didn't-hear-clearly makes the whole process really loooooong. I'd rather go for class.

Anyway, here's a funny Supernatural video (again) to save us all from the Monday gloom. It's about this wishing well that actually grants wishes, so there's a life-sized teddy bear running around. The Winchester guys went to check it out, and... you can watch the rest for yourself.

[26]

2008-11-09T13:41:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling irritable.

It doesn't help that people think I'm freaking free when in fact, I spend most of my time not at home.

It doesn't help that people think university students don't need to make much of an effort at good grades, presumably after they see a few students who are so blinking smart, they don't need to study to score straight A's.

It doesn't help that exams are in two weeks' time. Two weeks. One fortnight. Fourteen days. FOURTEEN FREAKING DAYS!

It doesn't help that I have many many chapters of revision to go before I even feel a teeny bit prepared.

It doesn't help that semester 1 just whizzed past like that.

ARGH.

Sorry, I wasn't supposed to be ranting. Hahah.

Yesterday I discovered that my dialect skills ain't too bad, 'cause I could carry on a conversation with an old lady for two hours. Granted, we weren't talking about current affairs/the deteriorating economy/the US elections/big big issues, so my simplistic vocab was enough. Thank goodness. House-visit-cum-interaction-s get awkward when it's just silence.

Oh, on a brighter note, even though it's two weeks to exams, it's three weeks to the holidays! Four weeks to the advent concert! Five weeks to caroling!

Um... whee!

Now I have to watch the webcast for the econs lecture I missed two weeks ago. Crap, it's severely overdue.

[25]

2008-11-03T08:20:00.003+08:00

I'm in Stats lecture, I'm not really listening, I'm supposed to be finishing up my lit. essay which has to be handed in in 3.5 hours' time, and I'm blogging. This is bad.
And I really feel like sleeping, 'cause I didn't sleep last night. (Yawn.)

Okay actually what I'm doing is testing the comments link 'cause funnily enough, the previous post has no link. Must be Jensen's strange video's fault.

[24]

2008-11-02T13:22:00.004+08:00

This is really funny.

I miss Supernatural. When will Ghost Whisperer end?!

[23]

2008-10-29T23:43:00.005+08:00

All the literature texts are mind-boggling. Abstract, and so much symbolism going on that it takes a lot of effort to put everything together. (After quite a few tutorials/lectures/essays, I learnt that I'm not really a big-picture person.)

Just watched Hiroshima Mon Amour, the film text we'll be doing soon, and oh my goodness. Because the characters aren't named (in the textbook they're called 'he' and 'she'), they can represent a lot of stuff... and their actions can represent a lot of stuff too.
This goes for Waiting for the Barbarians.
Anyway, the film got a bit creepy 'cause the characters seemed a bit psychotic after a while, and there was this bit that seemed like a horror movie 'cause it involved the female lead walking around in the hotel hallway alone. Yes, I half-expected some random monster/stalker to pop out. The freaky music didn't help.
Whoever said that works in modern English are supposed to be easier than Shakespearean plays?!

I'm losing my motivation. Bad, bad, bad.

Oh, one new thing I learnt today: peppermint milkshake/milk tea/whatever tastes like colgate, so it's not a good idea to try that. Peppermint overkill. Hahah.

[22]

2008-10-04T21:37:00.003+08:00

I went swimming/fishing at Changi Beach. In T-shirt and jeans.
It was a very interesting practical, to say the least. My group caught a baby squid. (Its colour-changing was pretty to watch. Hahah.)
Another pretty thing was the rainbow we saw on the way back.

And my mind is really really really really really swamped with a lot of things.
I need order and sanity! Grrr.

[21]

2008-09-25T23:32:00.003+08:00

I was using my laptop one day, with Reiko (the 16-month-old-monster that passes off as a very lovable girl) on my lap, when she pointed at my Jensen Ackles wallpaper and went, "Uncle! Uncle!" Oh my goodness.
That was quite funny, except for the part when I realized he's really rather old. Hahah.

Your Autumn Test Results

You are a dynamic, vibrant person. You aren't afraid to pursue your passions.

When you are happiest, you are calm. You appreciate tradition and family. You enjoy feeling cozy.

You prefer change to come slowly. You need a long transition period when your life changes.

You find novelty to be the most comforting thing in the world. You love anything that's new or unusual.

Your ideal day is spontaneous and surprising. You like to play things by ear, and you always end up doing something interesting.

You tend to live in the moment. You enjoy whatever is going on, and you don't obsess over the past or future.

The Autumn Test

You Are a Cinnamon Raisin Bagel

You are warm, loving, and genuinely selfless.

You enjoy comforting other people, and you easily fall into the roll of caretaker.

Of all the types, you're the most likely to be an excellent cook.

You tend to have something delicious for breakfast that you've cooked up for everyone.

What Kind of Bagel Are You?

Excellent cook? Now that's the biggest joke of the year. I don't even like cooking.

Okay that was purely out of boredom. Time to mug econs.

[20]

2008-09-21T23:34:00.003+08:00

I am very honestly sick of being the one who's constantly around for this activity or that.
It is not that I'm so darn bloody free that I can be present at every outing/meeting/rehearsal; it's just that I make time for it, because I see it as a priority.
So stop taking it for granted that I have nothing better to do than to spend time with you.

In any case, that's it. I'm going to stop making you people a priority.
What's the point of all my sincerity if you're just going to treat it like I owe you that much?
You're stressed, fine. But don't take it out on me 'cause I have my own problems to deal with.

As for all my friends, the real friends I've kinda neglected, I'm sorry for cancelling out on our stuff. It's happened far too many times (legitimate reasons, but still). We'll make up for it okay!

Argh the sweltering weather is driving me nuts.

It's time to reprioritize.

[19]

2008-09-15T00:45:00.003+08:00

I FINALLY FINISHED MY LIT. ESSAY.
What a relief.

Here goes today's list of things to go AAAHHHHHH about.

1. Aaahhhhh I finished my lit. essay!
2. Aaahhhhh I'm going to get my first lit. test back later today!
3. Aaahhhhh I just watched Les Choristes, and it was really very sweet and heartwarming. Never mind what critics said about it being predictable with nothing new.
4. Aaahhhhh Jean-Baptiste Maunier is cute. He has really nice eyes too. Mmm.
5. Aaahhhhh I have a class in 7 hours' time.

On the brighter side, mid-sem break is in one week. Seven days.
Time to count down again!

[18]

2008-09-11T16:03:00.006+08:00

I just spent the past hour staring at this poem not knowing what it was about. And I have a tutorial due tomorrow.
Plus, I have a 700-word essay due on Monday. Joy.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I just wasted so much time!

Sometimes it doesn't make a difference whether you do your homework. It's not like one hour of staring helped me to understand the poem.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Okay that was really random. I just needed to vent about the lit. tutorial.)

[17]

2008-09-03T22:11:00.004+08:00

How much are friends worth?

I always believe that we shouldn't attach a monetary value to things, because there's just no way one can measure joy, or friendship, or passion in dollars and cents. (Yeah, I disagree with how in economics, we fix an arbitrary value for the benefit a certain action brings us. Why, WHY must the benefit of say, eating a durian puff, be $3.22?! It doesn't make sense, does it.)

Friendship's about giving and taking, and not being calculative about whether you're giving or taking.

It's just that sometimes I do stuff and then end up wondering, 'What am I doing all these for?' (I'm becoming one of those annoying econs students who sprouts econs principles at every turn, but bear with me for once. Those principles just happen to prove my point, hahah.)
You know how the principle of opportunity cost goes: if we choose this action, then we forgo the chance to do something else. I go for outings, participate in all these activities, go for lunch, meet up with people, organize this, arrange that, and when push comes to shove, what do others make of it? Or rather, what do I make of it?
It does feel like I'm wasting time, time that could have been spent on my books and on catching up on my studies. Not that I'm one of those antisocial mugger types; I just want to get the year off to a good start.

Honestly, why do I go for OG outings? Why do I bother to try to coordinate Mugspot? Why did I show up every single day during SOW, and for every OG lunch/outing whenever I could?
Why do I go back to school every so often for alumni rehearsals?
Why did I offer to organize a class outing?
Why am I still continuing my piano lessons?
Why do I tutor my cousin in Secondary 2 English at a rate of $8.33 per hour?
Why do I try as much as possible to go home if I have nothing on, so that I can help out a bit with chores and stuff?

WHAT do I do all these for?

I can easily not do all these, and just focus on my own stuff.

It's really alright if we don't share the same interests, but there's no need to bash me down for doing the stuff I like.
I've even given up trying to bring together the different aspects of my life. Like, I do ask people if they want to go for whatever performance, but I've stopped hoping that people will actually turn up. After a while, all the "We'll see"-s and "I don't know"-s get a bit old.
I always, always ask way in advance, as soon as I know the exact details. But people just we'll-see me and then plan for something on that day.
Disappointing, yes. The disappointment decreases over time but never goes away entirely.

I think in my ten years of being a chorister, I can only remember three supportive non-choir friends. Seriously. THREE.

You see why keeping my various groups of friends separate is inevitable?

Don't criticize me for not giving a damn about certain kinds of people, because you don't know what happened to make me think this way.
Don't blame me for being distant, because you may not have had the same experiences of being let down.
Don't expect me to tell you everything about my life, because I know that you'll judge, and you'll disagree, and disapprove.

Sometimes I don't like how compartmentalized my life is. All these different faces I present to different people are just... well, parts of me. It's not faking, per se. Lying by omission isn't really lying anyway.

All of that boils down to self-protection, I suppose.

[16]

2008-08-30T23:20:00.004+08:00

Give Me Your Hand

Give me your hand, and I will follow
wherever you would have me go.
Give me your sign, and I will go quickly
for your sweet fellowship to know.

As night follows day, as rainbow follows rain,
your love to me is sweet as nectar.
And I to you shall love the same.

Give me your path, and I shall not falter
nor linger when I hear your call.
Give me your love, and give it me always,
and I shall ever love you more.

As night follows day, as rainbow follows rain,
your love to me is sweet as nectar.
And I to you shall love the same.

Such a beautiful song.

[15]

2008-08-24T22:49:00.002+08:00

Shucks, I'm hooked on blogthings!

What Your Bed Says About You

Outward appearances are very important to you. You do your best to look good and have an attractive home.
You are an organized and disciplined person. You do the right thing because you want to, not because people expect you to.
You are not very high maintenance in general, but you are high maintenance about a few things.
In relationships, you tend to kick back and let the other person be in charge.
You tend to be a dreamy, head in the clouds type of person. You think in terms of possibilities.
You are a traveler. You are comfortable anywhere, and you rarely feel homesick.

What Does Your Bed Say About You?

Quite true. I like this quiz!

What Your Workspace Says About You

You are not organized in the least. Everything in your life pretty much survives of chaos.
You are hardworking and driven. You have an excellent work ethic.
You enjoy your job and don't feel guilty about how much time you spend working. You have a good balance between work and your personal life.
You are still trying to figure out your ideal career. You could quit your current job on any given day.
At work, you are an introvert. You don't like people coming around your work space.

What Does Your Work Space Say About You?

You Will Be a Modern Bride!

While you aren't ready to throw away all wedding traditions, you want a wedding with a twist

You're more inspired by celebrity weddings on E! than from bridal magazines

Whether this means getting married on the beach barefoot or a mariachi band for the reception...

Your wedding will be a blend of old and new - white dress cocktail, personalized vows, whatever suits you!!!

What Kind of Bride Will You Be?

You Are a Classic New York Cheesecake

Simple and sweet, you are a smooth operator.

You can get along with anyone ... though after a bit of time, you're too much to handle!

What Kind of Cheesecake Are You?

Your Slogan Should Be

Jinghui. Stronger than Pain.

The Slogan Generator

You Are a Grilled Cheese Sandwich

You are a traditional person with very simple tastes.

In your opinion, the best things in life are free, easy, and fun.

You totally go with the flow. And you enjoy every minute of it!

Your best friend: The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich

Your mortal enemy: The Ham Sandwich

What Kind of Sandwich Are You?

You Are Chicken

Bah! You're hardly meat. But you are quite popular, and people aspire to taste like you.

You're probably quite skinny and free of vices. Except letting people eat your eggs.

What Kind of Meat Are You?

This one makes me sound like a scaredy-cat. Can you imagine telling people "I am chicken"?!

What Your Taste in Chocolate Says About You

You are sweet, mellow, and easily satisfied.

You don't like anything too intense and dramatic.

Deep down, you're a kid at heart... and you're nostalgic for the past.

You are honest and straight forward.

You have a distinct personality, and you make your opinions known.

And while people like that you keep it real, you can come off as judgmental.

You love the feeling of accomplishment. You enjoy doing what's important.

You feel lost when you have to do frivolous tasks or hang out with shallow people.

The Chocolate Oracle

You Are Artemis!

Brave, and a natural born leader.

You're willing to fight for what you believe in...

And willing to make tough decisions.

Don't forget - the people around you have ideas too!

What Goddess Are You?

You Are a Sprinkled Donut

Flamboyant and flashy, you're easily distracted by shiny things.

You're definitely a snazzy number, and you usually catch everyone's eye in the room.

And you've got the goods to back it up your colorful image.

(Though too much of you gives people a stomach ache!)

What Donut Are You?

You Are Fruit Loops

You're very fun loving and easily bored.

You need everything in your life to be over the top.

You are definitely attracted to shiny and colorful objects.

If kids love something, you tend to love it as well.

You a very short attention span and are easily distracted.

You are likely to eat something very random for breakfast... or forget to eat it at all.

What Kind of Cereal Are You?

You Are Yogurt

Modern and streamlined, you prefer a breakfast that's quick and healthy.

You live a fast paced life, and you get breakfast only when you're lucky.

And while you are strapped for time, you are still a hardcore foodie.

You often eat the best that your money can buy. You figure you're worth it.

What Kind of Breakfast Are You?

Yikes, yikes. Back to books!

[14]

2008-08-20T21:43:00.005+08:00

I was supposed to be studying econs. In fact, I have my econs textbook in front of me, but I just can't help myself, so here are the latest interesting quizzes I've found.

You Are Courier New

You have a deep appreciation for tradition and history.
You don't eschew modernity, but you do have a deep reverence for the past.
You are very literate. It's likely you enjoy writing and reading.
Some people may feel you're a bit cold, but you just have high standards for who you hang out with.

What Font Are You?

You Are Black Tea

You have a bold personality. You're not afraid of simply being yourself.
You have the courage to speak the truth. You are fearless in your actions.
You come off as a bit intimidating and unapproachable. Only confident people are attracted to you.
You don't try to scare off anyone. You're just an intense person!

What Kind of Tea Are You?

What Your Ideal Wedding Dress Says About You

Your Personal Style:
Classic and elegant. You prefer to make a statement with a few quality pieces.
Your Ideal Wedding:
Traditional and formal, but not tacky. You think the most beautiful weddings are understated.
Your Philosophy on Marriage:
It's a serious commitment, and the couple entering it should be ready to work for their relationship.
Your Perfect Marriage:
Is calm, stable, deep, and meaningful.

The Wedding Dress Test

You Are the Philosopher

You love thinking things over and developing theories.
Learning is very important to you, and you pursue knowledge relentlessly.
You love to talk about the things you know, often in more detail than people would like to hear.
And you know a lot! You're always taking on new subjects, interests, and hobbies.
You are at your best when you are left alone to ponder your newest ideas and experiments.
You tend to withdraw from environments that are loud, contentious, or passionate.

What Role Do You Play?

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain.
People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

What Do People Envy About You?

You See the World Through Blue Colored Glasses

You live your life with tranquility. You have faith that things will work themselves out with time.
You judge all your interactions through the lens of hope. You try to get all the facts before forming your opinion.
You face challenges with wisdom. You know that all bad things pass, and you have the confidence to see problems through.
You see love as the utmost expression of trust. Your relationships tend to be peaceful and stable.
At your worst, you can be cool, melancholy, and detached. You sometimes have to step back from emotionally charged situations.
You are at your happiest when you are able to reflect and relax.

What Color Glasses Do You See the World Through?

Your Heart is Feeling Indifference

Your heart is pretty much on hiatus right now.
You're not particularly interested in love, and you're cultivating a sort of romantic apathy.
Whether you've been burned badly or you're just burned out, your heart is cold to passion.
Deep down, your heart is susceptible to: A bit of cold heartedness
Your current outlook on love: Detached and stoic - you try to analyze love from a logical perspective
Your love life will improve if you: Open up a little. Stepping back can help you find peace with your emotions, but it can also make you repress them.
Watch out for: Too much cynicism. Indifference can lead you down a dark path.

What Is Your Heart Feeling?

Your Style is Sassy

Your date outfits are flirty and fun - and make guys smile
Occasionally you'll take a fashion risk, and it will pay off
You're up for flashing an inch or two of skin
But your general rule is to leave most of your bod to the imagination

Is Your Date Fashion Style Classy, Sassy, or Trashy?

You Are 58% Independent

Overall, you're a pretty independent woman. You don't follow trends just to fit in.
You've got your own cool thing going on, though you sometimes still care too much about what other's think.

Are You an Independent Woman?

You Have Many Alpha Tendencies

You're not a total alpha female, but you certainly know how to - and like to - get your way.
You're forceful without being intimidating. You're confident without being vain. A perfect mix.

Are You an Alpha Female?

I had no classes today, which is something to be very happy about ('cause it's probably going to be my last free day for this semester). Anyway, I managed to compile a list of theory dos-and-do-nots, organize my current notes, and practise the piano. Not very productive, but it beats spending 12 hours in school.

I was supposed to start on my stats tutorial and revise econs, though. Too much inertia, and it's honestly very difficult to study with a one-year-old kid who wants to play with you all the time. Not her fault, but still.

Okay, okay. I'm going back to my books.

[13]

2008-08-19T21:17:00.003+08:00

I didn't manage to get any free days. In fact, on certain days I have to go to school for just one hour of tutorial.
Oh well. I can always mug in school. That's the first step to becoming a hardcore mugger, isn't it. Hahah.

It's week 2 of school, and I'm still having fun so far. My Mondays are rather killer; 4 hours of lecture, 4 hours' break, another 4 hours of lecture. I start at 0800h and end at 2000h. Not very fun, I can tell you, but at least the company isn't bad. That makes it somewhat bearable.

I'm in a listing mood suddenly, so here goes.

Top Ten Reasons to Love University Life
10. No mandatory uniform. The only compulsory 'uniform' I've heard of so far is the lab coat, goggles, covered shoes and long pants when there's lab.
9. Freedom. Lots and lots and lots of it. It's fun to be so hands-on about my own education, but at the same time there's a lot of hassle too.
8. Getting to know new people.
7. Exploring the school by taking the shuttle bus around (conveniently 'forgetting' to alight at the correct stop).
6. Doing crazy things like the algorithm march anywhere, anytime.
5. Trying out new things, like economics.
4. Field trips! (One excellent reason to take the biodiversity module.)
3. Not slacking around at home and wasting my time.
2. Having all kinds of shops/restaurants/residences/halls in school. It's like a mini-town.
1. Not having to act like a sane soul 'cause I'm not the oldest around anymore.

It's very liberating not to have to be the voice of reason. All the guys are at least two years older than the girls, and it's like gaining a whole bunch of weird elder brothers with drastically different personalities, all at once. The only thing I can't stand about them is how they keep telling me how XXX girl is so hot/cute, 'cause I'm not interested.

New friends are good and dandy, but old friends are the ones who've stuck with you through thick and thin and so deserve even more attention.
If all goes well, Pearl and I are going to crash Germ's lecture next Tuesday. Attending a lecture sure isn't a movie marathon/board games session/kboxing, but any time we can meet up is still better than nothing.

Time to get back to my literature lecture powerpoint slides. One thing I've noticed is that science/math lecturers are organized but they aren't good at using the mikes or their voices, and vice versa for the humanities subjects' lecturers.

I so so so so so need to mug.

[12]

2008-08-15T20:53:00.007+08:00

Out of utter boredom and complete unwillingness to get on with my theory homework, here I am again! School has been exciting so far; I like the freedom and having to take charge of my own learning. Not that I'm succeeding in my resolution to be a mugger. Maybe I will become one after I get all my textbooks, hahah.
I know I just said that I like being responsible for my stuff, but at the same time I kind of miss how everything is readied for us like in secondary school or JC. There weren't so many decisions to make then. You choose your subjects, and the timetabling committee takes care of the rest. No hard choices like which module to choose, how many points to use to bid for it, which lecture/tutorial session to go for, the list goes on.

My classes have been okay so far, I guess. Early mornings (i.e. lecture at 0800h) aren't much of a problem, though I admit I dozed off for a minute during Organic Chemistry. (Sidetrack: many thanks to Weekeat who woke me up, hahah.) I have more of a problem with the contents of certain subjects, especially the Economics module.
Some divine intervention is definitely needed here.
Sure, there're people I can go to for help, but I don't really want to keep bothering them. It took me one whole day and 3 OG mates to understand what on earth the principle of marginal benefit/cost was about. And that's only the first lecture, second principle. There're about thirteen weeks to go before this semester finishes. Can you imagine how the rest of the term will go?

I'm still not quite used to having two 2-hour lectures back-to-back. Four hours of sitting down and taking notes and listening attentively does help us to expend a lot of energy, mainly through trying to keep awake. Hahah. It reminds me of those days when I was in JC 1 and trying not to fall asleep during choir rehearsals. (Now that I think about it, rehearsals were good training for sitting still/not talking/staying awake for like, 5 hours at a time. Very useful.)

Biodiversity is my favourite module this term. Today we just had a field trip to Kent Ridge, and well, it was fun. (The not-so-fun part came when the field trip ended and we had a test that counts towards our grades. Gosh, it's only the first week of school! Worse still, the test had an essay component.) I do like walking around looking at nature, even if the weather was insanely hot. The Raffles Museum of Biodiversity Research (aiyah, I can't remember the exact name; it's really very long) is a cool place, literally and figuratively. Some of the exhibits are a bit freaky, but it was interesting. Next time there's an outing, we should go there!

Literature is the other module that I'm slightly worried about, 'cause I'm really out-of-touch with all the Lit. stuff. The last time I had any formal encounter with Lit. was in secondary school, and I got C6 for my combined humanities. Not very promising huh.
The good thing is, the lecturers said that there's no need to have prior knowledge, and that people might even have to unlearn some of the things they picked up in secondary school/JC. So hopefully everything will turn out fine even though I'm not essay-inclined.
At least the texts seem rather exciting. I can't wait to study Shakespeare's The Tempest. We're even going to do a film text, which is all new and fine and dandy.
The other thing I like about this module is that the lecturers all sound like angels. Sitting in the LT, it felt like we were listening to music. It was such a pleasure to hear them talk, hahah.

More than once in a while, we get lecturers who don't speak coherently/don't know how to use the microphone properly/mumble their way through, and then following the lecture gets kind of tough. Listening is already difficult enough without having to deal with these problems. (Yeah, my audio skills are poor. Enough said.)

My only conclusion: it's a time for new challenges.
I won't say that I've been stepping out of my comfort zone, 'cause to do so would be like... joining a sports CCA. I know my limitations, okay. Trying new things has been fun, and the company has been great. (The only bad things are finding out certain things that I never wanted to know, for example, that in secondary school, senior guys actually ogle at cute junior girls. Like, eew much?) To a certain extent, it's better than my JC days, when it felt like I didn't particularly fit in. Or maybe it just stems from being more comfortable in my own skin.

Whatever it is, I'm happy.
And I'll be happier if all my tutorial/laboratory slots go through and I have Wednesdays free!

[11]

2008-08-10T15:31:00.006+08:00

Alrighty, I'm back from camp. SOW 2008 was one blast of an experience, and I sure don't regret going. Johnny English (i.e. the OG I was in) has a lot of quirky people; just look at all those photos on Facebook.
Good times and good memories are too hard to put into words, so I won't even attempt to do so.

The use-three-adjectives-to-describe-XXX game can be pretty interesting. Good fodder for conversations on the way home.
Occasionally it does freak me out how easily others read me. Or maybe it's just that others are good at analyzing people and I suck at it.

Running around all week with an average of three hours of sleep per night does tend to make people a little nutty. All the um, unusual tendencies start emerging. Scary. (Half the guys in my OG can testify to that. Heh.)

Sometimes I fear that I don't know who exactly I am any more, 'cause of all the vastly different backgrounds I've been in. (Yes, people still find it weird that an RV girl chose to go to AC.)
It's like I have different personae for dealing with different groups of people, and I don't know if that's a good thing. (Multiple personality disorder huh.) Somehow first impressions do count a lot, and people's expectations just don't allow you to be any other way besides the way they first saw you.

"People are layered, like onions. Friends peel off layers for each other, letting you in deeper and deeper - even if tears are part of the deal."
So. Who's a real friend, and who isn't?