[69]

My tan from all the orientation camps and various trips to Sentosa is fading.
I'm getting used to sleeping about 4 hours every night, on top of power naps wherever and whenever.
My handwriting is getting messier, mostly because I've been doing the writing in the wee hours.
And it's only week 4.

That said, I wouldn't trade my life for anything else, even if it can get rather insane.
I think I'm a sucker for punishment.

Even Fadz agrees that year 2 seems to be extra happening.
My hypothesis is that hair length is directly proportional to amount of fun a person has, but maybe that's just me. Hahah.

Before the semester started, I thought I'd be okay with doing stuff alone. It's not that this whole 'alone' thing bothers me a lot; I just find that increasingly, I hate being by myself. It gives me too much time to think. (Worst of all, I can't stand mugging alone in school. Now I need to find a new hangout.)

Having some time to think and reflect is good. Having too many pockets of time to let my thoughts run wild isn't.

The incessant pondering does make my mind a lot clearer. I like that it kind of helps me to sort out my life a bit, except that the clarity can get scary sometimes. Imagine if every action you make and every word you say is calculated, deliberate.

(Dang. Life is supposed to be spontaneous and fun.)

Okay, this brings me to my next point. 'Cause I have so much time for my thoughts/plans/whatevers, there'll inevitably be expectations. I know things don't always go the way we want them to, but that doesn't stop us from hoping that they do, right?

So when expectations fall short, disappointment comes to play. And play with everything, they do.

I hate setting myself up for disappointment time and again, but like I said earlier, I'm a sucker for punishment. Vicious cycle huh. Strange that I never really learn from my mistakes. That, or I have too much faith in people. (Whatever happened to my natural wariness?)

First on this week's to-do list: Realize (and remember) that there'll always be an incongruency between expectations and reality.

The following is kind of random. It's just... aiyah. I'm entertaining myself okay. So just bear with me. Hurhur.

Demure [di-myoor] adj 1. A word meaning quiet, serious, and always behaving well, used especially about women in former times. 2. Characterized by shyness and modesty; reserved. 3. Affectedly or coyly decorous, sober, or sedate.

*Affected [uh-fek-tid] adj 1. Not sincere or natural. 2. Assumed or simulated to impress others. 3. Speaking or behaving in an artificial way to make an impression.

*Coy [koi] adj 1. Pretending to be shy in order to attract interest, or to avoid dealing with something difficult. 2. Unwilling to give information about something. 3. Artfully or affectedly shy or reserved; slyly hesitant; coquettish. 4. Shy; modest. 5. Tending to avoid people and social situations; reserved.

*Decorous [dek-er-uhs] adj formal 1. Having the correct appearance or behaviour for a particular occasion. 2. Characterized by dignified propriety in conduct, manners, appearance, character, etc. 3. Characterized by or exhibiting decorum; proper.

*Sedate [si-deyt] adj 1. Peaceful, ordinary, and not very exciting. 2. Calm, quiet, or composed; undisturbed by passion or excitement. 3. Serenely deliberate, composed, and dignified in character or manner.

*Coquette [koh-ket] n literary 1. A woman who frequently tries to attract the attention of men without having sincere feelings for them; flirt. 2. A woman who flirts lightheartedly with men to win their admiration and affection.

All *-ed words are just to clarify certain words in the definition(s) of the first word.

The next two are dedicated to Germ Foong.

Motherly [muhth-er-lee] adj 1. Similar to or typical of a good mother.

Maternal [muh-tur-nl] adj 1. Typical of the way a good mother behaves or feels. 2. Of, pertaining to, having the qualities of, or befitting a mother.

Whatever it is, if you've used one or more of the above words on me, look at the following word. Then you'll find that you've been wrong all along. Hahahah.

Subtle [suht-l] adj 1. Not easy to notice or understand unless you pay careful attention. 2. Someone who is subtle uses indirect methods to hide what they really want or intend to do. 3. Cunning, wily, or crafty; devious.